“When have I ever flown off the handle?”
“We both know when it comes to Dallas Hayes, you’re not thinking straight.”
When we pull back up to the house, Holden gets on the side-by-side and goes home. I’m walking toward the side entrance when I spot Dallas over in the garden. It’s been neglected since Dolly moved out, and Rosie has her own.
It’s an unusually hot day for early spring, and she’s wearing Daisy Dukes and a pink tank top that shows off a sliver of her stomach.
She’s talking, but there’s no one there. I would assume she’s on the phone, but her hands are full. One has the waterhose with the spray nozzle on, pointed at the dirt. In the other one, she lifts up a full bottle of rosé and starts chugging it.
I approach her tentatively.
“Yeah. Yeah, of course. He’s just tryinghis best.” Her voice turns mocking. “He’s tryinghis best,Dallas. After all, boys doneeda father figure.”
I chuckle, and she flips around, clearly startled.
“Don’t sneak up on me.” Her eyes are blazing, and I can instantly tell she is not in a good mood.
“How’d drop-off go?”
She doesn’t know I followed her there and parked outside Matt’s house for several hours.
She lowers her lashes and turns back around. “Fine.”
“You just gonna get drunk because you’re upset?”
“Yeah, I am. You got a problem with that?”
“Nope.”
She starts chugging the wine and spraying the dirt again.
“I don’t think anything’s gonna grow there. The plants died off last summer.”
“Well, you don’t garden, do you?”
“You could teach me.” I walk up closer, not quite touching her.
“Well, for starters, I planted seeds. That’s why I’m watering.”
“What did you plant?”
“Tomatoes, green leaf lettuce, jalapeños, green onions, and green beans.”
“That’s a lot of green.”
“Hopefully.”
“Why do you like gardening so much?”
She sighs and takes another drink of wine before continuing.
“It’s therapeutic. It’s not all-consuming the way that motherhood is, but it has some of the joy, on a much smaller scale. I get to take care of them, watch them grow, but I can walk away anytime and not feel like my heart and soul are walking around, unprotected in this cruel world.”
I watch her for another few moments. She turns the water off and faces me. Her eyes are misty and red-rimmed.
“What do you need, Mamas? What can I do?”
My chest feels hollow, and my muscles are tense. I hate that all I can think of are violent resolutions. I want to be more than that for her. Even if it’s not her becoming my girlfriend and eventually my wife.