She leads me to the Adirondack chairs she has spaced out for her guests to enjoy near the firepit. There’s miraculously no one else out here right now.
After we sit, I turn to face her. She has that knowing maternal smile on her lips.
Wendy has always felt like a big sister to me. She’s always had a listening ear and a few extra years of wisdom under her belt. With Josie as her little sister, she has plenty of experience giving advice, knowing it might go in one ear and out the other.
“Did Josie tell you that Dayton and I recently …”
“Yes, she mentioned it.”
I nod, unsure of how to go on.
“She also said you seem torn about it.”
“He wants to go on an official date tonight. Well, he said that earlier, but now he’s saying we can go just as friends.”
“That’s … confusing.”
I sigh. “I sort of had a freak-out moment earlier today. He had flown me to Miami, and we hooked up last night.” I peek up at her face to see her reaction, but she’s simply listening, which is one reason I’ve always loved Wendy. “It was … amazing. Like, the best sex I’ve ever had. Then he wanted me to come by his office for lunch, so I did. But when I got there, another girl was already there.” I suck in a sob. “And she was this gorgeous model, his ex, wearing lingerie under a trench coat.” Tears start spilling down my cheeks again. “I just had this horrible flashback to Andrew cheating on me with his secretary. It’s not like Dayton and I are together or anything, but if I’m going to do this with him, I want to be his first choice. Not some girl he has in a lineup.”
I wipe the tears off my cheek with the back of my hand. Wendy waits silently for me to get control of myself before reaching a hand over to squeeze mine.
“Oh, honey, first off, I’m so sorry. Being triggered like that, just when you’re trying to open up to someone, is one of the worst feelings in the world. You have a right to feel everything you’re going through. Andrew was a pig. There’s no excuse for cheating—ever. Did you confront Dayton about it? Did he offer any explanation?”
I exhale, trying to calm myself down. “He said she’d been trying to get back together with him for a while. She showed up, unannounced, to seduce him, I guess.”
“And you don’t believe him?”
“It’s not that … I guess I don’t know. At first, I didn’t, no. I mean, what a coincidence, you know? But after thinking about it all day, it could be possible. It’s just that Dayton has always played games with my head. I never know what he’s really thinking.”
“That’s hard. Did the mind games continue after high school?”
I shake my head. “Before the funeral, we hadn’t spoken in ten years.”
“Hmm.”
“What?”
She shrugs, looking out over the water. “A lot can change in ten years. He was a teenager back then, and I remember him always being hotheaded, impulsive, and angry about hismom’s death. The man he is now isn’t really the same person from what I can see. People grow up. Have you ever asked him about the way he treated you back then or told him how it made you feel?”
“He says he’s always wanted me, ever since then. He was trying to resist. His father wouldn’t approve, obviously.”
“How does he make you feel? Insecure, like Andrew did?”
“He did in high school. But I was also just insecure back then. But now …” I trail off, my mind going back to the way I felt, dancing with his eyes on me. I shiver. “No, not anymore. He makes me feel … desirable. But that doesn’t mean he’d be a good partner.”
“That’s true. There’s just this nagging thought in the back of my mind, wondering what would happen if you gave him a real chance,” she muses. “He’s kind of always been … I don’t know how to phrase it. Obsessed with you, I guess? Cheri’s told me how frustrated she’s been with him for years.”
“What does she think about it?”Surely, Cheri would disapprove.
“She used to joke that you’d get married one day, but now she says Dayton missed his chance years ago.”
That surprises me, but I don’t voice it.Maybe I should talk to Cheri about it.
“What should I do, Wendy?”
“What do you want? Like, in your gut, what do you want to do right now? Don’t think about it, just answer.”
“I want to give him a chance,” I whisper, realizing for the first time that despite everything, that is what I want. I sigh, laying my head back against the chair. “I just can’t. I can’t go there right now. I need to see how hard he’s willing to try.”