I don’t have any words to give him right now, though I have plenty to say. The guilt I feel at not being here when something so terrible happened. That I was only on that wretched date because I was trying to distract myself from him. That holding his hand like this is the most intimate thing I have allowed myself inyears.
I swallow the words before they have a chance to betray me, shifting in my seat to sit a little closer, bringing my other hand up to slide around his arm as I lean my head against his shoulder. Thiswantto be near him, it’s the only response I know how to give him, so I let him feel it all. Sitting among the glass and wreckage, I feel his breath rush out, and his head lean down to rest on mine.
14
COLTON
“Idon’t know. He looks a little small to me,” I say to Fallon, nodding towards where Sadie is introducing one of the largest men I’ve ever seen in person to Harper. Based on the sidepiece, cuffs, taser and baton draped at his sides, I’m guessing he’s the new personal bodyguard that Sadie insisted on after last night. After about thirty minutes of watching Sadie and Harper throwyesandnoback and forth like a tennis match, Harper eventually relented over the necessity of a personal bodyguard when Sadie started making comments about going over her head. Who Sadie would go over her head to, was not something Harper was apparently willing to share with the class before leaving in a huff.
“Oh yeah, he’s tiny. Could lift him with my pinky,” Fallon laughs, regarding the newest member of the team before cocking her head. “He looks kind of familiar.”
“Doubt it. I’m pretty sure he hasn’t been here before, working private security since he left the military.”
Fallon raises her brows in question, probably wondering how I learned so much about a stranger in such a little amount of time. I didn’t care what he had done in his past, but it didn’tstop me from asking Sadie a thousand questions about his qualifications when I joined her this morning while she did her first walk through, stationing the extra security for the night throughout the club and explaining how their shifts would work and what territories were theirs to monitor.
Eventually, she got tired of my hovering and told me to beat it and let her focus, unless I wanted to have a matching wound on the other arm.
After the events of last night, Harper had stayed well into the night atCirque, getting reports from the police department and reviewing security footage. As had been suspected, nothing was usable. Whoever it had been avoided looking up, hiding in possible blind spots that would have alerted the team.
I got a single-line text around 3 A.M. telling me she wouldn’t be at the gym in the morning, knowing that if she didn’t show up, I would panic. All I ended up doing was a brisk walk on the treadmill, not wanting to irritate the gash on my arm.
When I walked into the backstage area to shower and meet Marcus this morning, he insisted one of the medical staff on retainer come to take a look at it. Apparently, he didn’t think the EMTs I was checked out by last night were as thorough as the retained medical team would be. I was given the all-clearagainand instructed to keep the area clean and monitor any irritation or swelling. The same instructions I had received the night before, but I wasn’t about to complain about someone caring.
I finish helping Fallon and the rest of the team prepare for tonight, passing out duties and assignments. Fifteen guests in total, each with their own personal attendant, making sure their drinks are filled and providing private dances throughout the night as requested.
The preparation flies by in a blur, and I try to catch Harper’s gaze throughout it. She’s actively avoiding me, and I think alittle part of her is relieved that she missed our morning workout, not having to rehash the events of last night.Anyof the events.
Everyone is backstage getting dressed when the guests start to file in, meeting their attendants who take their coats and purses before bringing them over to the table.
Each setting was given a specially curated menu for the evening—one side displaying the specialty bride theme cocktails, the other displaying the lineup of performances for the night along with the different private themed rooms available for use throughout.
Since a lot of the guests for tonight had never actually been toCirque, Harper wanted to make sure they knew what was available to them and what wasn’t.
In typical Harper fashion, each guest had to sign agreements listing out the rules of the establishment and NDAs before gaining entry.
Once everyone is seated and the guest of honor has a glass in her hand, Harper steps onto the stage for a quick toast to the glowing bride—which even sounds like she likes her—and to kick off the night with the first performance.
The evening carries on without a hitch, one act seamlessly flowing into the next, while the courses are served with flawless timing. Guests occasionally part from the group, guided by one or two of the dancers to a private room.
Declan and Fallon take the stage for the final act of the night, the picture of a happy couple on and off the stage. He’s decked out in a navy pinstripe suit vest and matching dress slacks, rose in hand to gift his love. Fallon waits across the stage in a light pink ensemble made of layered sheer fabric that sways and floats as she moves. A single spotlight beams down, illuminating Stella as she hums the opening chords into the mic. She barely performed tonight, as most of the songsrequested happened to need the male vocalist, but she’s proving right now why that was a mistake.
Her blonde tresses are pinned up neatly with sweetheart curls kissing her forehead. A white satin gown clings to her frame, curves accentuated by the plunging neckline. She’s a bridal vision as she holds the mic close to her lips and slowly sings about casting spells, a slow, gravelly beat to accompany the aerial hoop act.
I look to where Harper is watching the performance at the back of the floor, against the newly fixed-up bar.
Instead of Harper, I find my eyes stuck on Wade, frozen like a statue beside her. I didn’t think a man that big could be capable of being so still, but he looks as though he’s seen a ghost and is too frightened to move. I follow his gaze, expecting some dire threat, to find his attention solely focused on Stella, the vision in white.
When I look back at Wade, his gaze is downcast, shaking his head as though trying to shake off some vivid hallucination before lifting them back up again. Right back to Stella.
Harper doesn’t seem to notice the exchange, or the haunted look on Wade’s face. But Sadie does. She catches me watching the moment and winks before falling back into conversation with her sister. I can hear the taunt now,I know something you don’t know, but that’s a distraction I can’t afford tonight.
My eyes drift back to Fallon and Declan, slowly approaching center stage as a large hoop is lowered between them, suspended from the ceiling by two thick ropes about shoulder-length apart. He shifts the rose between his teeth, biting down to keep it in place as he unbuttons and removes the pinstripe vest to the hoots and collars of the rowdy crowd. Fallon dances around him, letting the full skirt fall away to reveal a pink corseted bodysuit underneath.
With his vest discarded, Declan grasps Fallon’s waist, dippingher slow and low as he passes the rose from his lips to hers before lifting her to be perched above the hoop, between where the ropes are secured, one hand on each line. The hoop starts to lift as she settles above, and Declan turns his back to the base of the hoop as it rises to meet him, letting it catch against his back as each arm curls around the sides. He looks almost casual, how someone sits back against a couch after a long day, arms extended wide on either side. Fallon leans back with him, back arching as she hooks each leg around one of the thick ropes, the hoop continuing its ascent, pulling the couple farther and farther from the stage floor. Fallon bows her torso even more, shifting further down the hoop until she catches the edge with the curl of her knees. The movement brings her face down to meet Declan’s, where he is keeping his body pin straight as he holds himself up from the bottom of the hoop. The chemistry between the two is thick and heady, their faces only inches apart.
Their act is almost always a centerpiece of any given night. It’s electric to watch them together, moving with a grace and efficiency most can’t achieve safely on the ground. They effortlessly shift together, the applause reaching a fever pitch when Fallon is balanced by her neck and thigh on Declan’s feet while he is fully extended from the hoop, a feat of strength by both artists.
I wonder how many hours they spend together in the gym.