“You could at least find out why she left.”
“I know why she left. I fucked up. Just like everything else I try to do, I fucked it up.”
“That girl is in love with you, Lex. I doubt whatever reason she has for going home has anything to do with you,” Dad insists. “You know, you wouldn’t even exist if I didn’t chase your mother across the globe. Some things are worth chasing.”
“Yeah, maybe. I gotta go. I’m heading back to the dorm to shower,” I tell him.
The moment I walk into my room, I pull out the bottle of whiskey I had stashed and take it into the shower with me. Drinking while showering could be my new hobby.
I wake up with a splitting headache. Drinking half a bottle of whiskey will do that. Everyone who walks past me does so with a huge fucking berth, probably due to the icy glare I’m giving all these fuckers today. I’m on edge, and the first person to either look at me or say something I don’t like is going to be my play thing for the next few hours. I don’t give a fuck if they kick me out of this school. What’s another one to the list of many? It’s not as if I have any reason to stay anymore.
Jameson knocks into me. “Fucking watch where you’re going, asshole!” I yell at him while pushing his shoulders.
“Sorry, man.” He holds up his hands in surrender.
Maybe he can be my punching bag? Then again, as I get a look at his face, I can see someone else has already beaten me to it.
“What the fuck happened to you?” I ask him, staring at the big-ass scratch he has down his right cheek.
“Ah…” He looks right and then left before he turns back to me. “You know how it is? Some chicks just like to scratch.” The asshole smirks and then walks off.
Fucking dirtbag. I can’t believe Addison considered giving him a shot at her.
Addison. Fuck. I can’t be thinking about her. I need to forget she ever existed. I laugh at the idea. That’s never going to happen. She’s imprinted on my fucking soul. I just need to use her memory as a lesson on what happens when I think I can have anything that’s good.
Chapter Eight
ONE YEAR LATER
Ican do this. I deserve to be here just as much as everyone else.
I repeat the mantra in my head as I walk up to the building housing my very first college lecture. When the acceptance letter came in the mail, I thought it was a mistake. A joke. Especially since I didn’t apply here. I didn’t apply anywhere.
Honestly, I was thankful to even be able to finish high school. I didn’t think I would after I left. But somehow, the school arranged for me to finish my studies online, allowing me to graduate. Well, I doubt it was a miracle. And more than likely, it was Mr. Petrov’s doing.
He came and found me two days after I left. I begged him not to tell Lex anything. Which I’m guessing he didn’t, because I never did hear from Lex. And I know him. If he knew why I really left school, he would have come for me.
I suspect my acceptance letter to NYU was also Mr. Petrov’s doing. I’m not sure why he wanted to help me. I met him once, and since I left school, I’ve only heard from him that one time too. But I have had calls from Mrs. Petrov, and a therapist showed up at my front door one day, and she kept coming three times a week. She had said the sessions were paid for, and since I was driving my mom insane, I let her in and I tried to get past what happened to me.
And there have been other things, like the fact my mom landed a good-paying job at a local hotel. The job also came with a two-bedroom apartment. Unheard of. But Mom was so happy I didn’t tell her I thought the Petrovs made it happen.
She’s also been sober and single the entire year. I’ve hidden out at home. It took six months before I’d leave the house.And another two months after that before I’d leave without my mother. I deferred my school offer. I figured if I started later, there was less risk of running into Lex—if, by chance, he came here. I know all of his family attends NYU. They like staying in New York.
My heart pounds as I enter the building. I mentally count to ten, work on slowing my breathing, and remind myself that I’m safe. Nothing is going to happen to me here. I think back to the beautiful bunch of flowers that was delivered to my dorm room this morning. They were from Mrs. Petrov with a card that saidcongratulations. I cried and then got my shit together and decided I was really doing this.
Which is how I’m here now, walking through the crowded building, looking up at the numbers above the doors. I need room one-two-six. Finding it, I sigh in relief and walk inside. I choose a seat in the back. I don’t really like having people behind me. It makes me nervous.
Opening my bag, I lean over to take out a notebook and pen when a body falls into the seat next to mine. My hands begin to shake. Shit. I really can’t do this. I need to leave.
Standing in a rush, I knock over something from the table. I mumble an apology to the guy in the spot next to me and step around him to get out of the row of seats.
And then I run. Out of the building. I don’t stop running. I don’t know where I’m running to. I just know I need to get away from everyone. I stop in the middle of a grassy area. There’s not as many people here, but something made me stop. I stand still, trying to catch my breath, and then I fall to the ground and drop my head in my hands.
Focus on something good, Addison. You are safe. You are okay.
A pair of sneakers stops in front of me. A strange feeling of safety wraps around me like a blanket, something I haven’t feltfor a really long time. I slowly tilt my head upwards and stare into the dark eyes of the one person I thought I could avoid.
“Addison?” Lex squats down, his glare sweeping over my face. “What’s wrong?”