“What?” I take a step toward him, and he takes a step away from me. “Everything went great. I thought?” Had I misinterpreted the feeding? Was that not how it normally occurred? I kissed him, yes, but he’d let me see inside his mind for once. And what I’d seen, it gave me every indication that hewantedme to kiss him. That he wanted much more than my kiss.
Mortification races through me.Oh, God, had I imagined all of that?
“You didn’t do anything wrong.”
I furrow my brow. “Did I say all that out loud?” I hate that sometimes I don’t know. After everything Samuel did…my mindisn’t always the sturdiest. Though, I’ve been getting so much better.
“No,” he answers. “I can tell where your mind wandered. You didn’t do anything wrong.Idid. I lost control. I can’t allow myself to do that with you. Ever. Again.” He takes another step away from me. “I need you to promise me you’ll feed from a volunteer.”
“You know the reasons I don’t want to do that.” I gape at him. “I thought you understood?”
“I understand them, but your survival comes first.”
“I want to do more than survive, Saint.” I wave an arm toward the flowers. “After drinking your blood, I was finally able to bring something to life instead of destroy it. You’re the key?—”
“I’m not,” he cuts me off. “You are. It’s all you. You have the power. You have the talent. It has nothing to do with my blood.”
I shake my head, irrational anger spearing through me. It’s not like I can force him to feed me. I would never demand it. I just thought he enjoyed it. Wanted it. Wanted me.
“Is this because I didn’t offer to return the favor?” I hurry to ask. “Because I totally will. I’d love to, actually.” Hot tendrils curl beneath my skin with just the thought of feeding him.
“Goddammit, don’t evensaythat.” He takes another massive step away from me, and I swear I feel my heart break. “Aurora, I’m trying to protect you.”
I swallow down the ball of emotion in my throat, feeling out of control in my own body again. My breaths come too quick. I never thought this would be his reaction. Not after what happened between us. Not after all the time we’ve spent together.
“Please, just promise me?” he asks again.
I shake my head. “I can’t promise that.”
“Promise that you’ll try.”
“Fine.” I only agree because he looks half ready to wend as far away from me as possible. Does he think this is fun for me? That I like having to beg him to feed me or take my nightmares away?
Another thought hits me like an anvil. Maybe he feelsused. Maybe he feels like a mere tool for my survival. That couldn’t be further from the truth. I part my lips to assure him that’s not the case, but he’s already gone.
I sigh, glancing at the bush next to me, reaching out to touch the new roses I’d helped bloom earlier. The crumble under my touch.
“Have they pulled you in for any official votes yet?” Annika asks me later that night. She, Daphne, and I all sit around a small firepit in one of the residence’s many courtyards. This one is decorated with stone pots overflowing with jasmine and moonflowers.
“No,” I answer with a sigh.
“That’s good,” Annika says. “But as a duchess, you know they will.”
“The title is still hard to wrap my head around,” I admit. “One minute I’m a sophomore in college, the next I’m Duchess Somerhaul.” I shake my head. “Especially since my vampire father wanted nothing to do with me thanks to my human mother.” Even though he was the one who pursued her. Shock of his life when it resulted in me being born.
Daphne laughs softly, taking a sip of her sparkling water. “One second you’re just a human pawn for your cult family to use in a political agenda, the next, you’re in college because a demon king decided to pay for your tuition.”
A laugh rolls through me. “At least I’m not alone in the weirdness.”
“Never,” Daphne says, reaching out to squeeze my hand.
“You know we’re here for you,” Annika adds. “Always.”
Warmth flutters through me, helping chase away the heavy from earlier. “I appreciate that. I really do.”
“Have any guesses on whose mark that is yet?” Annika asks, eying the tattoo I never hide on my neck.
“Not a clue.” I shrug. “If it’s Samuel’s, I’d rather die. If it’s Saint’s, I thinkhe’drather die.” The truth of that threatens to crush me.