After almost a month off, being back in the air felt so damn good. But like always, I was itching to get home to my favorite girl. And now her father.
This whole thing was a mess, but it was getting less tense by the day. Ducane in our home felt natural. Leaving Cadence with him felt natural. The only thing that didn’t was the careful distance he kept between us, like he hadn’t decided whether he was staying all the way or keeping one foot in the hall.
I missed my husband. I was respecting his space and going at his pace, but I wished the table would tip back in my favor just once. This felt like watching somebody eat your whole plate and leave you the little corner.
He’d said it himself on the phone, though. I wanna pick my wife up from work. Heat climbed up my neck when he saidwife. But I wasn’t holding my breath. The man had been all overthe place since that beach, one minute claiming me, the next sleeping three doors down like a roommate who didn’t pay rent.
Still. A girl could hope.
Fee had called the second I powered my phone back on, and I had her in my ear the whole walk through the terminal, my feet screaming, my MustHaveJoy tote bag cutting into my shoulder.
“Girl, there’s nothing to report,” I said, answering the call.
“Damn, no hello, kiss my ass, or nothing rude. And nothing to report is a lie. You left Sugar with him.”
“He’s a good father. That’s it. That’s the update.”
“Shit, we knew that. So y’all still ain’t, you know?”
“Not since the island. And it’s fine, Fee. He can take his time. I knew it would be like this when he found out, so I’m not about to sit around pressed about a man who?—”
I looked through the front windows as the black truck pulled into the parking lot.
“Hold on.”
“What?”
“My ride’s here.”
A beat.
“Your ride?” Fee asked.
I smiled, pulling my tote closer.
“Girl, Ducane insisted we have a driver. At least it’s Kareem.”
Fee was quiet for a second.
“That’s a husband move, and I know that’s right. He’d better show out about his family.”
“No.” I shook my head even though she couldn’t see me. “That’s a father move.”
“You really believe that?”
I looked out through the airport windows.
“I don’t know what I believe anymore.”
Silence settled between us.
“I’m just...tired.”
My tote slipped farther down my shoulder, and I hitched it back up.
“I waited all these years because I believed if we ever found our way back, everything else would make sense.” My voice cracked before I could stop it. “And now I don’t know where I fit. Maybe this is...”
“Don’t finish that damn sentence. Don’t do it.”