Keeping Malone to myself meant I was able to protect him and make sure that no one had the opportunity to break his heart or alter his thinking. Malone was smart, but he was still impressionable. He soaked up everything like a sponge. Him being around other kids and people could either help or harm him. It was time for me to stop smothering Malone, so we could both live a full life.
“Uncle Luke also cooks good pasta. Can you cook pasta?” he asked. I smiled but said nothing because that boy was up to no good fishing for information. Even though he was fishing, I was carefully taking more notes. A home-cooked meal sounded good one of these days, and I hoped she could, in fact, cook pasta or something other than take-out.
“I am a world-renowned pasta maker,” she answered proudly. “Actually, Massimo Bottura is, but I’m sure you are just as good,” he responded as we both laughed so hard we had tears in our eyes. No one understood how full of information he was until they were around him for a long time.
“I will just have to prove myself to you, Deal?”
“Deal,” he boasted as she turned to give him a fist bump. Malone looked happy. Happier than he had looked in a long time. It seemed as if I had made a good decision by asking Teaghan to come along. Malone never smiled this much or sat quietly. Some people had the magic touch with kids and that was Teaghan.
Pulling into the parking lot I spotted Luke and Shawn already there. I was hesitant to introduce her because we hadn’t had to cross this bridge before. As if she could sense my apprehension, she placed her small, warm hand on my wrist and smiled. She exited the car andentered the restaurant as I made the swap. It was a blessing that neither of them asked any questions. I didn’t have any answers for what I was doing. It didn’t seem like a date but without Malone, that’s exactly what it looked like.
Walking in, I spotted her engaged in conversation with some nigga in scrubs. I sighed. I hadn’t asked for this to be a date, but just a few seconds ago, I had come to terms with it possibly being one. Now she was all in someone else’s face. Providing me with another pain point. Her beauty attracted men. I mean, it was the reason I was here in Luigi’s, feeling like someone was stepping on my turf. I watched from afar until a hit to my gut came. Teaghan flashed that beautiful smile at him. It was the smile I hoped was only reserved for me. Her back was turned to me slightly but from the look on the guy's face, I imagined her smile making feel like he won a prize; my prize. It was that warm smile that could thaw out the artic and he was eating the shit up.
“Ready to start this date?” I asked stepping up and placing a hand on the small of her back. I couldn’t allow this to continue on. It was a straight nigga move, but fuck all that. For the next hour, I wanted her attention. So Mr. withdrawing hairline had to move around or get fucked up.
“No worries man I’m just an old friend,” he replied as I continued to size him up. Old friend my ass. He was looking at her the same way I caught myself looking at her. It was in the way he held her hand. It was the way he brushed his face when she spoke. Nah, he needed to flee or get beat.
“Well, I’m her new friend, and you’re cutting into my time, so you can leave now.”
The guy retreated with no pushback, and I chuckled. Homie didn’t want these problems. His ass would be in the fire pit fucking with me. I may have been playing and bullshitting, but I couldn’t let someone else come in and take the attention I didn’t know I wanted. Her eyes were wide open in surprise. It was the first time I got a good look at her eyes due to them being slanted. They were gorgeous, just like her. I stared, trying to find something wrong with her. It would make me feel better about my trepidations. The more I looked for them, the less they came. If anything, I could only find more things that I loved about herface.
“Really, you did not just run a colleague off?” she laughed, sliding into her side of the booth. She was blushing. I didn’t know if it was from anger or admiration. I didn’t care. The minute Malone left my presence, this turned into a date.
“I bet you have men falling all over you?” I inquired, looking her straight in the eye. She was diverting her gaze and looking anywhere but at me. “Oh, she does have men falling all over her, it’s cool, but he looked too old for you.”
“You aren’t, so I guess not. And how old does he look?”
“Sweet Tea, stop it. You know, men from all walks of life are checking for you. And my nigga looked to be at least fifty-five,” I mentioned and laughed. She didn’t have to play the radio with me. I peeped how lil buddy was looking at her. I couldn’t blame him. She was top-shelf shit. Teaghan was bottle service type shit. Sparklers, bottles on ice, exclusive. Shit, you wanted but knew better than to touch in the store.
“Who is sweet tea?” she laughed with a raised eyebrow.
“You are, your skin reminds me of sweet tea. I love sweet tea.”
“Is that so?” she laughed again.
“Yeah, it’s my favorite, so back to these million men you got checking for you,” I continued, coming back to the topic at hand. I was acting like Malone and fishing for information that I could use for later. Before we went any further I needed to check her mental. She was smart clearly because she was a doctor but was she smart with her body, heart, and soul.
“I want to be someone’s gold at the end of the rainbow, not something so cheap that you can find it anywhere. Men may check but most of the time they write checks they ass can’t cash.”
“Such as?”
“The usual. Promises of no games, but they have an unlimited subscription to games. And my favorite of all time, promises of being ready, and they clearly aren’t. I’ve met men with enough money to buy the world, but they lack substance. I’ve dated men with amazing jobs, but they don’t know how to find balance. I’ve had men with homes big enough to fit the homeless but don’t want to fill it with family. Shit’s absurd.”
“And you know who you are and what you want?” I asked intertwining my hands in front of me. I watched her intently, something I could do all day if time permitted. She spoke with her shoulders square. She wasn’t blowing smoke; her words were honest.
“Houston, I’m a fixer and that shit fucks with me all the time. Men see my nurturing nature and take advantage. They don’t proceed with caution, they don’t think about the pain it causes a woman when they say they are ready but aren’t even close,” her eyes went dark and she pushed her hair behind her ears and looked out the window. Pain had met her before, and I knew that look. That struggle was rough for women. It made me glad that I had a son and not a girl.
“And then there’s the man that wants something in return. Love for love isn’t a thing anymore.”
The waiter approached, and I gave her a minute to sort her thoughts out while I ordered for us. I didn’t mean to hit a nerve. Deep down inside I was curious as to what she needed from me. Teaghan was successful, beautiful, confident. I couldn’t figure out why she was entertaining a polished turd like myself. I was a single father, busy and reserved. Nothing about me screamed welcome or man with his shit together, but for some reason, she was still interested.
“Pain builds character. Are you making it clear what you want?” I asked once the waiter left us alone. She was still having a hard time coming back from her answer and I felt like an asshole for ruining the mood.
“Having a job is cool, having money is a plus, and having a nice car is great also but that doesn’t make a man ready. That makes you stable, and I don’t need stable. I’m stable by myself. I need a man who has a ready heart or at least a willing heart. Men can check all day long, but I won’t cash in on every check that comes my way,” she answered dropping a bomb on me, “So to answer your question yes I make it clear what I want, but most importantly what I need.”
Now I was at a crossroad. Teaghan was a wonderful woman just from what I already knew which wasn’t nearly enough or all I wanted to know. I originally asked the question just for kicks, but now I wish I had kept my mouth closed. I possessed all the shit she explained but a ready heart. There was no doubt that I was willing. I didn’t want to beanother man that wrote a check he couldn’t cash. And I damn sure didn’t set out to hurt people. Especially not people like Teaghan.
“That rules me out, huh?”