Lydia drew back. When Victor brought his head up, she noticed that he was staring at her, and for a moment, she wondered if her thoughts were exposed.
How humiliating!
But then she realized that she was sopping wet. Leaning over the bath had dampened her dress all over her chest, making the light fabric cling to her skin as though it was little more than a shadow. The weight and intensity of his gaze made the air sizzle. She could almost feel the desire, but surely that could not be.
Victor did not like her and hated being married to her.
She felt the same way. And yet she found it difficult to take her eyes off him. She could not prevent the thoughts from rampaging through her mind, so many mysteries, the answers of which were tantalizingly close.
She wondered about the warmth of his skin, how his biceps would feel against her fingertips. She considered the hardness of his muscles and the way it would feel to stand so close to him, running her fingers through the thick hair, gazing into his eyes, and feeling his hands roam around her body as fiercely as his eyes did…
It was enough to make her feel light-headed.
“You must excuse me,” Victor said abruptly, leaving the room before she could say anything else. He closed the door firmly, and she wondered if she had done anything wrong.
Perhaps it was for the best. Everything had threatened to careen away from her, and the last thing she needed was to make matters between them even more complicated. She must just be tired from looking after John, and the air was humid.
Yes, that must have been it. It certainly couldn’t have been that she was attracted to her husband.
She could never be attracted to the Duke.
That was impossible.
Lydia was disappointed when Victor spent the rest of the day in his study. He even took dinner there, the servant citing that he had work that was unavoidable. Lydia only wished thatshewereunavoidable. So many men made business their priority. In all the books she read, the heroes eschewed that and lavished all their attention on their romantic partners.
After dinner, she spent some time with John until he fell asleep. Lydia left the room and was startled when she bumped into Victor. He held her arm to steady her. The touching caused lightning to crackle beneath her skin. His sleeves were rolled up, and his cravat was loose. He looked softer than normal.
“You should take more care in dark corridors,” he said quietly, letting go of her arm. Lydia found herself missing the touch.
“I didn’t think I was in any danger,” she replied.
A smile curled at his lips. “I have ordered a footman to remain at your door tonight. If John wakes, send the footman to me. I shall watch over John while you sleep.”
Lydia furrowed her brow. “I thought such things did not concern you.”
“They do. When I said that John was under my care, I perhaps did not realize the breadth of those words, but I am beginning to see things more clearly. Even though he is a baby, he is still a person, and we must take care of him together.”
“Yes, we must. Thank you, Victor; it means a lot,” she said.
The Duke inclined his head. “It’s important that you rest, and if you would like any food, just tell the footman, and he shall fetch some for you.”
“I shall do that. Victor, I know this has not been easy for either of us, but I feel as though we are finding our way, and we must remember that John is the priority. He relies on us. He cannot do anything himself.”
“Well, there are some things he can do for himself. Very smelly, disgusting things,” Victor joked. Lydia chuckled. “But I take your point. I know you think I am unkind, but that is not the case. I am stringent when it comes to protecting my family and my name. For now, John is a part of that family, I suppose, and I shall do my best to take care of him as well.”
Lydia wondered if he was trying to admit that he was John’s father or if his words should just be accepted plainly.
“I’m sure John will be grateful for that. But if he does become difficult, then do not let me rest. I want to help. I want John to know that I am there for him. He has been abandoned by one parent. I don’t want him to feel that either of us has abandoned him either.”
“I’m sure he won’t. I will see you in the morning,” Victor said, opening his palm, gesturing for her to leave. Lydia paused for a moment, feeling as though there was something more that she ought to stay although the instinct did not coalesce into words.
So, she bid the Duke farewell and entered her room. As she was closing the door, she saw Victor enter John’s room. Perhaps there was hope for him yet, and it might well be the case that his heart was softening because of the child. Lydia smiled at the notion, and she just hoped that whatever happened to John, he ended up with people who would care for him as much as she and Victor did.
Of course, for all she knew, John was with his real father now. For some reason, she could not dismiss the notion, and she recalled how Victor was upset with Georgia for rummaging through his belongings.
Was there something he was hiding in there, some link to the woman who gave birth to John?
Chapter Seventeen