“I agree with Bellamy. In our job, the guys all boast about how they have puck bunnies lined up and waiting for a chance to be with them. It's normal for them. Why can’t casual and fun sex be normal for us?” Emilia adds in.
“Okay, I really like her now.” Bellamy cheers.
“I knew you two would get along.” The smile on my face grows even wider at knowing I was right.
“I think you’re doing the right thing here, Kay. That boy is just as crazy about you now as he was in high school. You just have to continue to build back that trust with each other. Keep trying, and don’t give up on yourself.” Lainey’s words strike a cord in my chest.
Don’t give up on yourself.
I never thought about it that way, but suddenly, everything clicks into place.
When I ended things with Jake, I let my insecurities dictate my actions, but in reality, I gave up on myself. I told myself that I wasn’t good enough, that I wasn’t pretty enough or thin enough. He never told me those things. He never once made me feel anything less than beautiful and desired.
I gave up on myself, and in turn, gave up on him. Never again. I’ll keep fighting, keep trying, and show up even when it feels impossible. Because that’s what love is really about. It’s messy and chaotic, but it’s also so beautiful and tender. With Jake, loving him is effortless, it’s like breathing. He’s my forever, and I know I’m his, even if it takes time to earn his forgiveness and win his heart back.
“Thanks. Anyway, if y’all are done grilling me, can someone else tell me how their life is going? Please.”
“I wish I had something exciting to say, but I’m just a boring mess,” Emilia starts.
“I mean, starting a new job and being a badass isn’t boring.” I wink at her.
“Yes, but I have no gossip to spill. I’m trying to keep my head down and do my job right now. I don’t need any distractions.”
“So, what’s the deal with you and Beckett then?” I eye her mischievously.
“What do you mean?” she asks, confusion written on her face.
“I noticed there was a moment when he couldn’t take his eyes off of you during the away series.”
“I’m not sure what you’re referring to, but there’s nothing happening between us. He’s not my type anyway.” I’m almost inclined to believe her words but the way that her bottom lip quivers is a dead giveaway that she’s lying about something.
“Boo. In the words of Beckett, ‘You’re ruining my fantasies,’” I tease.
“Sorry to disappoint, babe.” She smiles before we all turn back to our food, finishing up as the waitress comes back and clears our plates from the table.
“Since we’re all spilling tea, I have something I’ve been meaning to tell you, Kay.” Lainey fidgets with the hem of her dress, but her eyes remain locked on mine.
“You know you can tell me anything,” I reassure her, placing my hand over hers.
“Well, I wanted to be sure before I said anything, especially with my past relationships. I actually met a guy. We’ve only been dating about three months, so it’s still new, but I really like him.”
“Lain, I’m so happy for you! When do we get to meet him?”
“Well, seeing as you’re the first people I’ve told, I was hoping you’d help me talk to Mom and Dad about it.”
“Wait, why do you need help?”
“So, he might be a tad bit older than me,” Lainey blushes as she hides her face behind her hands.
“Ohh, an age-gap romance, tell me more,” Bellamy teases.
“How much older is he?” I ask.
“He’s about to turn thirty-two in a few weeks.”
Well, I wasn’t expecting that.
“How did you meet him?” Emilia jumps in.