Lilith is smart as hell, and as such, she’s going to treat me like the enemy she thinks I am.
She’s going to manipulate me.
That’s why she pulls herself together. So she can put on a show and pretend that my being a murderer is perfectly fine with her.
She’ll tell me it’s cute. Hot, even.
She’ll do her best to convince me that she isn’t scared of me.
And I’ll fall for it. Because I love her. Because I’ll do anything for us to beusagain.
It’ll be a mistake. A grave one.
So no, I can’t let her talk. Not yet.
Even when it rips me to pieces. And man, does it fucking ever.
I grind my teeth as I reach for the thin silk tie I cut into quarters earlier and left waiting on the bedside table.
“I’m so sorry, little devil.” I crumple it in my fist, staying gentle as I slide it past the gag and stuff it into her mouth. “So fucking sorry.”
The new wave of tears rolling from her eyes drives a million knives into my chest.
“You’ll have to stay quiet for a little while longer.” When this is all over, I’ll spend my entire life making it up to her. “While you get used to this other side of me.”
“I uv oo,” she mumbles.
I’ve been around enough gagged people to understand what she means.
I love you.
I can’t tell if she’s lying or not. Don’t know if this is an attempt to manipulate me.
Whatever it is, I feel the words down to my marrow. Except instead of breaking me, they strengthen my decision to leave her bound until I resolve this.
She’s mine, and I own every part of her. I take care of all of them.
“I love you too,” I say. “And I’m not mad, not in the slightest.”
My fingers memorize the shape of her scalp. Her cheeks. They wipe the tears as they streak down her temples.
“You have to understand.” A kiss to her nose. “What you’re going through turns your mind against us. It urges you to go to the authorities and report what you saw.”
“No.” Her head shakes, her eyebrows flying up. “No.”
“I’m not mad about that either.” My voice is deceptively calm, considering how torn I am. “Thing is, I can’t let you do that. If I’m locked up, I might never see you again. I can’t and won’t let that happen. I refuse to live without you.”
“Mmm.” The binds strain as she pulls on them. Spit soaks her gags, both of them. “Mmm.”
“You’re right, that’s not true. I don’trefuseto live without you.” I give her my most sincere gaze. “I can’t. I won’tsurviveit.”
She cries quietly, never taking her eyes off mine. My brave fucking girl.
“Listen, everything will be okay.” A plan forms in my head as I speak, a way to make things right between us again. “You’ll rest first, and I’ll explain everything later. After that, I’ll give you a few days to let it sink in. You won’t talk during that time. Won’t have a chance to run. Then, if you still want to leave me, I’ll…”
She growls. Sobs. Goes through a whole range of emotions that are so uniquely hers.
Doing the right thing has never hurt this badly. Ever.