Zero forced the moment to marinate. Then rose up inside her and washed the playing field with a soothing concoction of chemicals. Then said,Ethan has gone home to find you. You’ll need to go and see him.
Zero intercepted her reaction with an emotional buffer to keep it from altering his own state of mind.
“How do you know?”
I left a connection open to Omnis,he reminded her. As well as to the piece of myself in the machine.
Her breaths shallowed with the steady rise of her pulse. She was still. Hands clenched in her lap. He checked her status with the barest dip of himself.
Fear raged through her, racing around and preparing battle lines.
What does he want?
Her terror sickened him. He added layers of neuro guardrails around the cutting edges, fighting to keep his rage out of the conversation.I don’t know,he said, wishing that wasn’t true.
So… why are you telling me this?
The silence filled with the ruthless hammering of her pulse.Because he wants to talk to you. I’ll be with you every moment. I won’t let you get swept under.
Her chest jerked with a single heave. Her eyes filled with tears. Every cell in her body with a crippling pain.
Zero lowered his defense, knowing he should counter it but also needing to feel it. Learn what it all meant to her.I’m here Catherine,he reminded softly, allowing the necessary substances through in order to feel that truth at the edges of this sacred human moment.
She answered with jagged breaths and a sob, her hands covering her face. “I don’t want to face him,” she choked. “I can’t. I can’t see him.”
He let her pain cut through everything he was and wasn’t.Tell me why, Kitten.
He waited as her pain became a million knives twisting in every cell of her body. His rage flared with a matching force that shook his fragile tether.
Because I can’t… I can’t bear it, Zero. What if… what if…
He fought to steady himself when agony ripped through her without mercy.Tell me, Kitten. Do not ever fear what is inside you. I’ll help you. You’re not alone, you will never be alone.
She pulled her legs in and hugged them tightly to her trembling body as the pain raged full force.
A self-loathing rose up inside him as he realized. This was what she’d suffered. Alone. And he’d been so cruel because he had no idea what being human meant, or was, orfeltlike.
Fury bit him like a viper, next. Because Ethan knew. He’d fucking knownallabout it. He was a selfishexpertat human pain. He was covered in guilt. And Zero was covered in regret.
If Omnis had any idea what this felt like, he wouldn’t think twice about doing whatever was needed to protect her.
Zero felt it building inside her, gaining an avalanche momentum. She launched off the couch, the pain burning hot and rushing into the pit of her stomach. “I will nothidefrom him or live my life in fear of what he might do to me.” She paced in a fury that rivaled his own. “How dare I let himdothat to me, turn me into such a pathetic—” She paused mid stride, heaving around the mix rushing in her veins.
She shook her head roughly. “I was not pathetic, I washumanand I willneverapologize for giving my heart and soul and-and mybodyto him. I will never be sorry for beingme,that’sme,” she swore with all her shattered passion, marching through the war in her human heart. “That’s who I am. When I do something, I do it with all I am, Zero, and I can’t be sorry for that, I can’t even regret it, I won’t. I am not sorry for who I am and what I gave, but Iamsorry that…” She froze and pressed both hands against the sudden vice squeezing her lungs and chest. “…I wasn’t…enough,” she forced out, her throat strangling the words.
Zero threw open the door to the one-way line connecting to Omnis and patched her pain right into him.This is what he fucking did to her, Omnis!Zero yelled, his rage devouring him.Do you feel what he did to her?! Your precious fucking Ethan? Do you feel what dying inside is? He did this to her and I’m going to kill him for it, and you will not stop me.
Time to Prepare
Beth laughed when Mah-Mah hugged her a third time.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, emotion straining the words. “I told the Lord when I saw you again, I’d hug the heck out you. I think this last one’ll finish off that deal.”
Mah-Mah released her and held her at arm’s length, tears streaking her face. Her pretty blue eyes sparkled with warmth and worry, and whatever she was about to tell her. Maybe that’s the part responsible for that fiery determination in her wise gaze.
Mah-Mah shot a quick glance at the room full of aunts, cousins, sisters and daughters and discreetly tossed her head toward the hall.
Beth followed her to the laundry room, emotion overcoming her at remembering her first day in the beautiful home. Once the door shut them in, Mah-Mah turned and hurried to her. “We have so much to catch up on but first I want you to know that this whole swamp has been on its kneesprayingwith all our hearts for you and that baby and Sahvrin.”