He’d started his sentence with a conditional, as if she might not accept. He had to believe she would. Why else would she have situated herself in his lap?
Whatever she had believed before, she could not be ignorant of how much he wanted her now. Hadn’t his actions made that clear? If they hadn’t, his body was certainly asserting needs, something she must be able to feel, close as they were.
“You would not…?” she prompted.
“Iwillnot treat you as if your place is beneath me. You’ll be…”
Was there a word for a treasured female friend? “My wife” felt too possessive. “My lover” not strong enough. He finally settled on a word he’d never thought he’d use.
“My beloved.” His swallow felt cobblestone rough. “Just as I hope to become yours.”
Her head tilted, and her smile softened. But her eyes told him she was not entirely reassured. He’d have to give her more.
Absently, he ran his fingers up and down a spot just above her feet. “You say your father influenced your fears of marriage. Mine influenced my fears as well.”
“Fears?”
He met her curious gaze. “He would have referred to you asa Delilah.”As he did my mother.
“The infamous seductress?” She brightened, almost as if pleased. “I know our governess taught us that one, but I’ve always preferred the New Testament to the Old. The story’s details have become hazy.”
He couldn’t believe she genuinely didn’t remember. “Would you like me to remind you?”
“Certainly. Although…” she considered. “If the story involves seduction, why would my governess think it one appropriate for young girls?”
“I don’t know,” he mused. “Then again, not all children’s stories inspire and delight. Some teach you what dangers lie in wait.”
“Dangers?”
“Delilah was the woman Sampson loved who cut off his hair.”
“Ah, yes.” She lifted a brow. “But that doesn’t sound terrible. Hair must be cut, after all.”
How practical.He smiled. “Not Samson’s hair. Sampson was the strongest man alive, and his strength was in his hair. He fell in love with Delilah. Unbeknown to him, however, Delilah had been bribed by his enemies to uncover the secret of his strength.”
“Absurd!You’restrong and your hair is short. But do go on…”
He played the details of his father’s version through his mind, feeling all the weight of his father’s belief in feminine moral weakness and inferiority.
Telling the story would be difficult, but he had to help her understand the source of the fear his father had planted in him. “Delilah tries to manipulate Sampson into revealing his secret several times, and each time, he gives her false information.Sampson’s enemies capture him but don’t know the truth, so he is able to fight his way to freedom.”
She harrumphed. “Ifhegave her the false information, he would have realized she was not to be trusted, no?”
“I never considered, but yes, I suppose. Finally, Delilah tells Sampson if he truly loved her, he would tell her the truth about the source of his strength. And when he does, she betrays him by cutting his hair while he sleeps.”
She looked deeply into his eyes. “Perhaps, I ama Delilah.”
“What do you mean?”
“I came down here determined to lure the truth out of you, too. To make you tell me why you wanted to marry me and if I could trust myself to you. And, I think, in an indirect way, you just have. You want me, and you fear me, just as I want and fear you, too.”
Now, he knew for certain she’d been fully aware of the story all along.
“But I can promise one thing,” she continued. “I never intended to use anything you told meagainstyou, as Delilah did.”
“No?” Only a single word. Even so, his voice cracked.
“I only wished to protect myself.”