“It’s not every day a young lady is banned from Almack’s, as you were. Besides, you didn’t behavethatbadly. I do recall copious weeping, but no actual gnashing of teeth.”
Cassie drew her knuckles down Millie’s cheek. “You’re sweet to say so. But it wasn’t being banned from Almack’s that broke my heart. I’d been so excited to see Harbury approaching me. But when he uttered a clipped, ‘you’ll do’—that’s what hurt the most.”
Millie cocked her head. “You wanted him, even then?”
“Even then.” Cassie nodded. “And always.”
So, neither of her elder sisters had experienced as easy a journey to love and happiness as she’d thought. Though, judging by the choice words Eliza had chosen to describe male anatomy and the marriage bed’s pleasures, Eliza was quite happy indeed.
Cassie pretended to study a flower embroidered into the coverlet. “Harbury told me that Neville intends to spend the night, you know.”
“Do you mind?”
“As no one outside of family knows he is here, I cannot see the harm.”
“He thought knowing he was keeping watch would help me sleep,” Millie confessed.
“Will it?”
“I am…comforted by his presence.”
“Comforted.” Cassie sent her a sidelong glance of sisterly suspicion. “Something tells me that, at some point in the night, you will feel the urge to wander—”
“Cassie!” Millie interrupted.
“To that end,” Cassie continued, “I’m leaving my wrapper on a peg by the door. It’s the most substantial one I have. But be careful, Millie. All men, no matter how apparently taciturn, dull, or controlled, have their weaknesses.”
“He’s not dull,” Millie defended.
“Just so.” Cassie’s smile widened. “Something tells me Neville’s weakness is you.”
Millie scowled, then flipped onto her side beneath the coverlet.
“Good night, Millie.” Cassie gave her shoulder a maternal pat. “Do try and get some rest. And if that urge comes”—Cassie smiled, slanted—“be brave.”
The bed board squealed as Cassie rose from the bed.
Millie listened to the rustles that must be Cassie removing her wrapper, then the sound of the door sweeping back over the rug.
Cassie closed the door behind her, and the sound of indistinct voices muted. Her present was a muddle, and her future remained a mystery. But she’d felt held by her family’s present care, buoyed by their concern.
What had Cassie meant, though, bybe brave?
Was she making the same reference Asquith had made when he’d told her she was the only one who could decide what came next?
Neville or notoriety. The gamble, or the devil she knew—loneliness. Loneliness, but with the vast, open countryside for comfort.
Suddenly, bridle paths alone didn’t seem like such a prize.
Could marriage mean partnership, secret smiles, and goodbyes that left a man’s hair tangled? Mysterious and only partially described pleasures?
Or did marriage only and always mean suffocation, constant condemnation, even fear?
Try as she might, she could summon no fear of Neville. Not after he’d given her thatlook….yeux d’amour—love eyes.
The voices below ebbed and flowed. She focused on the one she most wanted to hear. Then, she followed the sound into slumber, troubled by the unknowable possibilities but secure in the knowledge Neville would not leave tonight.
*