“Cade,” Ellie murmured beside me.
“He’s not wrong,” Fletcher added, but Madison’s scoff made him snap his mouth shut.
“You both need to drop it,” my sister-in-law warned. “Dr. Lovejoy does a lot of good as an influencer. She’s a wellness expert and love coach, and we’re incredibly lucky she was available to lead our retreat.”
Fletcher snorted a laugh, while Vlad focused on his drink and avoided looking at any of us.
Harrison tugged on his shirt collar. “Why don’t we all just give this a shot? Come on, I promise it’ll still be fun. I’ve never hosted a lame party in my life.”
“Wonderful point, Harrison,” the fraud said, holding up a boney finger. “But I must mention, this won’t so much be apartyas it’ll be a joint adventure that’ll dive deep into your bonds of companionship.”
I ground my teeth to stop from speaking.
“Now, I won’t take up much of your time this afternoon, since it’s only day one,” she continued. “Nights in general will be time for you to connect with your partner, and dinner will be delivered to your private balconies. We’ll meet up every morning for breakfast as a group to greet the day, then embrace our new itinerary for each day. I have a few surprises up my sleeve, but all good ones. I promise. How does that sound?”
If I clenched my jaw any harder, it’d snap.
No one objected. Madison and Piper were all smiles, while Ellie shifted next to me.
“Lovely.” The fake doctor beamed and swept her arm toward the middle of the deck. “Now, if everyone could please take a seat next to your partner around this beautiful big table, we’ll get started.”
Fletcher was the only other one who still looked skeptical, so I walked next to Vlad to check with him. “You’re going along with this?”
He grunted and nodded at Piper—who had already traded in her book for a notebook and was writing down everything the crazy kook said.
“I don’t have a choice,” Vlad muttered. “She eats this stuff up, just like her sister.”
Great.
I grabbed the seat next to my brother—easier access to strangle him if this nonsense kept up—while Ellie set down her backpack and perched on my other side.
“To begin, this is a work-free retreat.” Bliss stood at the head of the table and produced a smaller black bag from her tote. “Which means no distractions. Place all your mobiles and work devices in this bag, please.”
This was getting better and better.
“Absolutely not,” I said. “We’re not schoolchildren.”
Harrison pulled out his phone and dropped it in as she circled the table. “Come on, Cade. You wanted to come on the trip, so you gotta show everyone you can play by the rules now.”
Bliss appeared next to me, giving the bag a little jiggle while Ellie slipped her phone inside.
“It’s just a phone,” she whispered. “You’ll get it back later.”
Clenching my jaw, I reluctantly added my phone to the bag.
At least I had a backup in my luggage.
“Thank you, everyone,” Bliss said as she finished collecting the phones and handed the bag off to a crewmember. “Now, howdoes a little icebreaker sound to kick things off and get to know each other?”
Ellie perked up. “Oh, I love icebreakers!”
A muscle under my eye twitched. Nobodylovedicebreakers.
“Is this mandatory?” Fletcher frowned. “I’d rather have a few beers and play pickleball on the upper deck.”
“We really don’t need any couples counseling, anyway,” Candace quickly agreed, placing her hand on Fletcher’s knee. “Our relationship is perfect.”
“You may think that,” Bliss told them gently. “But just because you’re comfortable with where you are doesn’t mean there isn’t opportunity to grow. Just like a plant, relationships need nurturing and careful tending to truly blossom.”