“Fuck,” he muttered, running his hands through his hair.
He’d made a critical error, both in overestimating his control and underestimating the power of the mate bond. Being that close to Muriel while deliberately triggering intense emotions, feeling her fear and then her relief and then that spike of desire…
But she needed to learn emotional control, and he was the only one who could teach her. He trusted no one else. He’d eviscerate—magically and otherwise—anyone who got that close to her.
He simply had to get a better grip on himself.
A soft knock on the doorframe made him jerk his head up.
“Brandon?” Muriel said quietly from the other side of the door. “I'm sorry to bother you. I just wanted to let you know that I’ve cleaned up. I'm going upstairs.”
He heard the sadness in her voice and felt it deep in his chest. She thought she’d disappointed him. She didn’t understand that his sudden retreat had nothing to do with her loss of control and everything to do with his.
Taking a deep breath, he calmed himself and opened the door. The dejection on her face gutted him.
He attempted what he hoped was a reassuring smile. “You’re not bothering me, and you have nothing to be sorry for. How are you feeling?”
“Tired. A little shaky.” She bit her lip. “That was intense.”
“I know. I'm sorry I had to put you through that.”
“Don't be. You were right. I need to be able to control my magic even when I'm afraid.” She wrapped her arms around herself and frowned. “Though I'm not sure what happened at the end. The lemon tree...”
His best guess—that was her magic responding to the emotional whiplash of fear, followed by a wave of desire, and slapped back with his abrupt rejection. Not that he could explain that.
She nodded, still looking uncertain.
“Muriel—”
“Brandon—”
They both stopped. He gestured for her to continue.
“I've been thinking about what you said. About showing Armand the book.” She straightened her shoulders, that determined look he was coming to recognize settling over her features. “I'd like to meet him, if the offer still stands.”
“Of course, it does. I'll reach out to Jason and set something up.”
“Thank you.” She hesitated, then added softly, “Not just for that, but for everything.”
She was giving him too much credit. He wasn’t just doing this out of the goodness of his heart. His reasons for helping her were as selfish as they were altruistic.
“Get some rest,” he said, his voice rougher than intended. “We'll talk more tomorrow.”
She nodded and disappeared up the stairs.
Brandon waited until he heard the apartment door close before he pulled out his phone and texted Jason.
Brandon:Muriel agreed to meet with Armand.
The reply came almost immediately.
Jason:In the neighborhood. See you in ten.
A short while later,Jason settled into a chair with his usual casual grace and regarded Brandon with the keen gaze of the spymaster he was. Brandon brought over two glasses and a decanter of high-end bourbon and poured a few fingers for each of them.
“Ah.” Jason's lips twitched. “The mate bond is making training difficult, is it?”
“That's one word for it. Every time I'm near her, every time we touch, it gets harder to keep my distance. And today...” He shook his head. “Today I nearly lost control.”