“Our pleasure,” Trigger assured her. “We won't get on our flight until you guys show up at the airfield. Comms units will remain on. You need us, you call us. It won't take us long to get back here.”
With that promise, the seven men melded into the jungle until it was just the two of them, standing side by side above the blue watering hole. It was the first time he’d been alone with Ally since he left her in the room awaiting pick up by her buyer, and Mateo had so many things he wanted to say, apologies he wanted to give, promises he wanted to make, that they all got clogged together in his throat.
“Shall we?” he asked in the end, dipping his head at the pool below them.
“Yes.”
“Hold onto me,” he instructed as he wrapped an arm around her waist.
“Always,” she said softly as her arms entwined around his neck.
Jumping, he took Ally with him into the air before falling down into the fresh, cool water below them. This time, they swam straight up to the surface, and as soon as they broke through, Ally’s lips crashed into his.
Chapter
Eighteen
August 21st
12:54 A.M.
Kissing Mateo was pure instinct.
It was an expression of everything welling up inside her. The good and the bad twisted together to form something that felt like it was bubbling up inside her, demanding to be let out.
Normally, she’d suppress her feelings, pretend they didn't exist, and make herself small so she didn't draw attention to herself, didn't become a bother or a burden. But she was tired of living that way. Tired of shutting herself down, breaking off parts of herself before they had a chance to grow and flourish. She wanted to know who she truly was, to find her wings and fly, to know what it was like to live her life without constantly being afraid.
This was the first step.
“What are you doing, baby?” Mateo asked against her lips when she pulled back to draw air into her lungs.
“I thought it was obvious,” she replied as she shifted in Mateo’s hold so that her center was pressed against the bulge in his pants.
“We can't, little mouse,” he said, but she felt him jerk against her.
Ally knew exactly what he was doing. It wasn't that he didn't want her, it wasn't that he wouldn't love to be buried deep inside her, it wasn't that he didn't care, or that his feelings for her had changed.
It was she who he thought had changed.
And she had. In a lot of bad ways after her ordeal, but in some good ways, too. Her body and mind had been broken, but they’d always been dozens of pieces glued together, it was never going to take much to make them shatter. Scars would litter her soul for the rest of her life, and she’d never completely heal from this ordeal.
But some good had come out of it.
She’d found herself. The mortification she’d felt when she realized how easily she’d broken had come dangerously close to destroying her. Add in how the men of Azure had twisted her own body and used it against her, and she was sure she was ruined beyond repair.
All her life, she’d seen her easy acquiescence as weakness, but for the first time, she’d found strength in the quiet way she accepted her circumstances. So far, she hadn't broken. She was still standing, she’d made it through that horrific party, had blanked her mind, and endured being used like she was less than human. Then she’d killed a man. She hadn't run away from trouble, hadn't hidden, she’d run toward it and fought. The shooting might have been an accident, but she was so proud of herself for being proactive for once instead of always being reactive.
“We can. I want to,” she told Mateo as she removed her hands from his shoulders, trusting him to keep her afloat in the beautiful, clear, cool water, and slipped them into his pants.
A groan tumbled from Mateo’s lips as she wrapped her fingers around him, and the sound made her feel powerful.
“Baby, you keep doing that, and my control will snap.”
“Good. That’s what I want. I want you to take me hard and fast, I want you to make me come so hard I can't breathe, I want you to show me that you still find me desirable despite what those men did to me.”
“Don’t want to take advantage of you, baby, don’t want to hurt you,” Mateo said on another groan when she squeezed him.
“It’s not taking advantage if it’s what I want,” she reminded him. “Trust me, I know the difference between someone making my body betray me, and me giving my own body what it craves. It craves you, Mateo.”