Julia had thought of that, too. “Honestly, yes. Helen said the same thing, in the dream or not in the dream, whichever it was.”
“So then you’re in denial.”
Julia wasn’t ready to go there just yet. “But can I ask you something, in return? Isn’t it possible that you want this to be true, because it can help with Kay’s murder?”
Courtney puckered her lower lip and didn’t speak for a moment.
“I don’t mean to make you sad.” Julia reached across the table, touching her hand. “I’m just saying, even if it is true and I have these abilities, I’m really bad using them. If I get visions, like if the fire was a vision, I have to interpret these things myself, like a puzzle.”
“Okay, so?”
“So what if I’m trying to help you find Kay’s killer and I get it wrong?” Julia felt tears come to her eyes, knowing that she was speaking her deepest truth. “I don’t want to get this wrong for you. I don’t want to give you false hopes that I’m going to magically find Kay’s killer. I don’t want to take you on some stupid joyride or wild goose chase.”
“You wouldn’t be.” Courtney blinked, nodding slowly. “I see what you’re saying, but you don’t have to do it alone. We’ll do it together.”
“How?”
“We’ll stop wondering about whether you have psychic abilities or not. You just tell me anything you think, and we’ll try to put it together.”
“But shouldn’t we leave it to the police?”
“We’re not stopping the police from doing anything. I want to cooperate with them as much as humanly possible. I want them to do their jobs.” Courtney frowned. “But that doesn’t mean I’m going to sit on my hands when that guy killed Grandma Kay. The guy that I let get away.”
Julia felt like she was traveling down a road she didn’t want to go, getting in deeper and deeper, but she’d come for a reason and Courtney was making sense.
“You can’t know everything in advance, Jules. Sometimes you have to play it by ear.”
“I know, that’s true,” Julia said, meaning it. Helen had said she had to live with uncertainty. Maybe that was her problem, even if Helen was a dream.
“It’s like sales, when I go in to sell a certain product. I have to listen to what the buyer wants and change on the spot.”
Julia smiled. “It’s not like sales, Courtney.”
“Everything is sales, Jules.” Courtney smiled back. “Okay, it’s like a marriage. You think it’s going one way but it’s going another. You have to be able to respond and pivot.”
“Fair enough.” Julia noticed a new tension around her mouth. “Why, what’s going on? Something up with you and Paul?”
“He’s driving me crazy. He’s not coming in until tomorrow. He can’t get away yet.” Courtney rolled her eyes. “He has a bug up his ass about everything I do. I work too hard, I travel too much.”
“Since when?” Julia asked, surprised. Paul was her late husband Mike’s best friend, and Courtney and Paul’s marriage had been happy since college days.
“Since my promotion. I’m not sure he likes me making doublewhat he does. He measures his self-worth by his income.” Courtney snorted. “I wish he’d measure it by his dick like everybody else.”
Julia chuckled. “That’s tough. I have that with Gianluca because of my inheritance.”
“Now he’s talking about having a kid, even though we decided against.”
“Whoa.” Julia knew it had been hard for Courtney to admit she didn’t want children, but Julia understood. She knew from experience that it was no fun being an unwanted child.
“He doesn’t really want a kid. He just wants me to stop being a regional sales manager. I don’t know how good a father he’d be anyway. He’s fun, you know that, but lately, he’s stalled out at work and it makes him unhappy.” Courtney shook it off. “Anyway, we have to get going.” Her gaze fell on her breakfast. “Is this edible anymore?”
“No, and the coffee’s cold.”
“You want Dunkin’ Donuts, don’t you?”
“You’re reading my mind.”
“Hey, I’m a medium, too!”