“You are.” He fell into step beside me, following me to the staircase. “You know, you can still change your mind.”
I looped my fingers through his, bringing his knuckles to my lips. I didn’t know how I had not spent every waking minute in Valhan House touching him, holding him, learning the divots and hard curves of his body. I wanted him tonight and for the rest of our lives. “We’ve discussed this.”
“Humor me.” He stood one step below me. One hand dropped to my waist, the other slid softly down my neck. His lips dipped to trace the same line down my neck and my toes curled in their boots.
“We don’t have time for this,” I choked out, even as my hands reached for his hair.
“I know,” he murmured. “But I’d be remiss if I let you go to the Rite without a proper sendoff.”
He pressed my back against the railing, and I let out a soft gasp as his mouth claimed mine. He was warm against me, and when his tongue brushed the seam of my lips, I opened for him. He kissed me languidly, like the Rite was not due to startat any second, his tongue idly trailing across mine, scraping along the roof of my mouth and across my teeth. There was no area of my mouth he left unexplored. I was panting by the time he pulled away.
I couldn’t help but brush myself against him again. I wanted to kiss him beneath the starlight and hold him in the early hours of the morning. I wanted his body wrapped around mine each night and to hear that he loved me each day.
I wanted time. Time we did not have.
So instead, I pressed my hand to his cheek, ran my thumb across his cheekbone and watched as the steel chips in his eyes softened. He caught at my wrist and brought the inside of it to his lips. It was such a tender, loving kiss that my heart yearned for more.
“You will complete the Rite. And you will return to me,” he ordered.
“Azrael himself could not keep me from you.”
A soft, sad smile touched his face, and I committed it to memory as he relinked our fingers and led me downstairs.
With each step, the sound of the drums grew louder, until it reverberated along the corridors of my brain. The other candidates were already lined up in the courtyard, their instructors beside them. As soon as Kilian and I joined the queue, we began to move.
The night sky was still and the flurry from the summits had ceased; for once, the constellations were perfectly visible up ahead. It was cold, but I welcomed the fresh air. It reminded me that I was alive.
“Where is the Rite taking place?” I asked.
Kilian sketched out a curve along the summits, and I could see tiny lights strung up in a winding path all the way to the top of a peak.
I raised my brows. “We’re hiking?”
“What? Did you think the Rite consisted of drinking hot cocoa and watching the stars?” He gave me a sardonic look, and I rolled my eyes.
Caleb and his instructor led the group. Lana was behind them with Septimus, his head bowed toward her as she spoke softly to him. I kept my gaze firmly averted from Moric and his instructor, Ayden, who I had not spoken to since that day inthe tavern. Rayna strode ahead of me with Echon, pointedly ignoring everyone else. She looked tired, and rightfully so. The Trials had taken a lot from us all, and it was patently obvious how small our group had become since the first challenge. Only five of us would enter the Rite. And none of us might leave it.
I squeezed Kilian’s fingers as we began ascending the mountain. I was pleased to find that my muscles welcomed the exercise. Somewhere between the weeks of grueling training, running, and fighting at every turn to stay alive, my body had grown accustomed to life on Lortan.
The lights – orblight, I realized – were strung up at regular intervals, marking every hundred yards. At the six hundredth marker, I ate my earlier words as my calves began to cramp. But it wasn’t much further to the top. I could see the final orblight from the back of the line. Lana and Septimus were already passing the third-to-last one.
“I can’t accompany you across once we reach the top,” Kilian murmured beside me.
I shot a look at him.
“There’s a border of obsidian sand fencing off the portion of the summit where the Rite takes place,” he explained. “It’ll test your strength, your resilience, as you cross. If it deems you worthy, you’ll find yourself on the other side.”
“Is it like rock salt?” I asked him.
“Not exactly. Rock salt bars entry and exit for elven and fae, permitting only mortals and sprites. Obsidian sand is one-sided. Only a mortal can enter. And only those who possess upper magic can exit. It’s designed so that no elven can interfere in the process. Once the Rite starts, there’s nothing I’ll be able to do. You can only return if you transform.”
I pressed my lips together. “Right.”
We crossed the penultimate orblight, and I saw Lana at the top of the peak. Her pale hair streamed behind her like a flag. Septimus brushed a gentle kiss to her cheek and her eyes fluttered closed.
This was real. Too real.
Kilian paused, allowing me to continue ahead of him as the trail narrowed. When I crested the summit, the flat mountainous peak came into view. It was a wide expanse ofsnow, razed even and smooth for the most part, but every now and again, I could see tiny bumps and jagged rocks on the surface. The lighting was too dim for me to make out anything further. I did notice a line of glittering black sand drawn along the snow, though, a luminous sheen glowing off it. It remained unmoving even as a wind rustled past, pulling a few strands of hair loose from my braid.