“Why you pushed me away if you supposedly care about me. Why you lied to me.”
Nothing she said is wrong. But it hurts to hear it.
“I’m not sure if now’s the right time,” I say. “With everything that happened. And you’re tired…”
And I’m scared.
I’m scared the truth won’t be enough for her to forgive me.
I’m scared she’ll hear my story and realize Gwen was right about me.
And shit. I don’t want to talk about it. Five years on, and I still haven’t. A few of my teammates from back then know, but only because they were there. But we’ve never talked about it since.
“I don’t think I’ll sleep tonight,” she admits. “I keep thinking about all of it. The break-in. The drugs. And…” Her gaze dips. “I keep wondering if I was wrong about us. Or… if I did something wrong.”
Shit.
Standing, I hold out my hand to her. “Let’s go in the bedroom. For privacy,” I amend. “This isn’t something I want Haley to overhear.”
Angel hesitates. Then she stands and takes my hand. “Okay.”
I lead her into my bedroom, closing the door most of the way shut after us. Then I head over to the bed and wait for her to sit down. Once she does, I take a seat a few feet away from her.
The space between us feels wrong.
I wish I could go back to only days before, when distance was the last thing we wanted.
“I’m sorry,” I blurt. “I know I said it before. But I really am. I acted like a jerk the other night.”
“And you lied,” Angel points out. “You said you weren’t feeling well. But that wasn’t true. You went to Max’s instead.” Her cheeks go ruddy. “Hazel told me. While we were texting. She didn’t know it was supposed to be a secret.”
“It wasn’t a secret. And it wasn’t like that. Max texted looking for company, I was feeling shitty about what happened, and I just thought it might help, getting out of the house for a bit.”
Angel’s eyebrows arch up. “You lied, though.”
On a heavy sigh, I admit, “I did. I thought I needed some time to myself. Time to get things straight in my head. I didn’t plan on going anywhere. I just… Shit. I’m sorry, Angel. I’m so pissed at myself. If I’d just been honest with you, I would have been there. At your house. I could have stopped?—”
“That’s not why I’m upset,” she interrupts. “I just don’t understand. What happened?”
And there it is. The truth that leads to all the rest.
“I saw you and Garrett,” I confess. “He hugged you. Touched you.”
Angel stiffens. “I’ve known him for years. Ever since Haley and Tess were in kindergarten. We’re friends. But that doesn’t mean?—”
“I know that. Now. But before… I got jealous. It wasn’t your fault. It was mine.”
Hurt washes across her face. “You thought I would cheat on you?” A beat passes. “Unless that was all in my head? And we weren’t really dating?”
“We were. We are—” I stop. “I was wrong. About you and Garrett. About how I acted after. I feel so fucking guilty. I should have been there for you. I should have protected you.”
“So you thought I was interested in Garrett?”
I take a deep breath. As I exhale, I turn so I’m facing her. “For a little while, I did. And I want to explain. Not that I think it’s an excuse, but I want you to understand.”
“Okay?”
My gut clenches.