I wish I could give him another answer, one that wouldn’t make me look so pathetic, but I can’t lie to him. I shake my head. “No,” I whisper.
He groans like that pleases him. “This body must be desperate for affection.”
I can’t think straight with his grip on my throat, and his dark eyes boring into my soul.
“Will you let me relieve some of this tension?” His free hand slides underneath my shirt, and his fingers dance along my stomach. Goosebumps fly over my skin, and I clench my thighs together. “I can take care of this ache for you.”
Oh, I know he can. Every nerve ending in my body lights up at the memory of just how good this man can take care of my body.
But the sounds of the kids downstairs pull me from my lust-filled haze. I shake my head and scoot away from Chance, putting space between us so I don’t pounce on him like a dog in heat.
“I...I can’t.” My eyes drop to my lap in shame. “I’m sorry.”
Chance reaches out and tips my chin, bringing my eyes back to his. “Don’t you dare apologize for it. If you’re not ready, then I can respect that. You set the pace, and I follow.”
My bottom lip trembles. “I don’t want to give you the wrong impression, Chance. We can’t just go back to the way things were between the three of us.”
“Why not?” Stephen’s voice startles us both as he stands in the doorway. “Why can’t we try again?”
I sweep my arm out, gesturing to the floor. “Those kids downstairs? They rely on me. It’s up to me to keep them safe. Avery’s having enough of a hard time as it is. I can’t draw more attention to our family.”
Stephen crosses his arms over his chest. “We can take it slow, and see where it leads. One day at a time.”
I point between the two of them. “You two can barely stand to be around each other. How do you expect this to work, hmm?”
Chance arches a brow. “Are you saying you’d consider it if Stephen and I were on better terms?”
I rub my palms against my thighs. “I’m just saying, you can’t snap your fingers and make everything perfect for us. This isn’t a fun college fling. This is the real world, and I have my family tothink about. I’m not the rebel who used to get high and fuck two guys at the same time without a care in the world.”
“Maybe not, but this version isn’t you either,” Stephen says, walking toward me. “You’re not happy. I can see it in your eyes. You’re tired, and stressed, and you’ve been exhausting yourself trying to do everything on your own. You’re stifling yourself, and you think it’s what you need to do for the kids, but you’re not setting a good example for them.”
I scoff. “Excuse me? I’m doing the best I can, and I think I’m doing a pretty damn good job given the situation.”
Chance stands up, facing Stephen. “Hey, I don’t think this is helping right now.”
“Fuck you too, man.” Stephen’s face reddens as he speaks. “The both of you might be okay with hiding who you truly are, and denying yourselves of the things you want, but you’re only hurting yourselves in the end. And those kids? They need some fun in their lives. They need you to show them it’s okay to let loose a little, and enjoy life. Do you want them to grow up and look back on their childhood and remember how stressed you were trying to juggle everything and hold it all together?”
Tears stream down my face. “No, I?—”
“I had to listen to Alyssa tell me how lonely she thinks you are, and how Avery wishes he could help out more because he knows how stressed you always are.”
My mouth flaps open. “What?”
Stephen nods. “They see you, Pres, no matter how hard you try to hide it. They see how much pressure you’re putting on yourself.”
I flick my eyes to Chance, and he nods in confirmation before dropping his gaze.
Fuck.
“I don’t know what I’m doing,” I blurt out. “I don’t know the first thing about raising kids, and all I want is to do right by my sister. But I’m not her, and I keep falling short.”
Chance steps forward and wipes my tears with his thumbs. “Maybe that’s your problem. Maybe you need to stop trying to make up for her being gone, and just be yourself. Those kids love you as their aunt. Stop trying to be a perfect mom, and just be you. Love them; be there for them; and have a little fun with them every now and then. That’s what kids need.”
“Your sister left them with you for a reason,” Stephen says, lowering his voice as he inches closer. “She knew you better than anyone else, and she knew they’d be in the best hands with you—the exact person you were four years ago.”
A sob escapes me. “I don’t know how to be that person in this new life.”
“We can help.” Stephen smooths his palm down my back. “Maybe that’s why life threw us back together. Maybe we can be what the other needs.”