Shit, is that drool?
Too late to be worried about that now since he’s stopped reading and is looking down at me with a knowing smirk.
My cheeks heat. My husband has caught me ogling him, and I doubt it looks sexy.
A choked sob breaks free, and tears manage to escape from my swollen eyes. I didn’t think I have any left in me to shed.
“It’s all right,Krasnyy,” Matthias coos at me. He rises from his chair and tucks himself into the small space beside me, drawing me gently into his chest. I wince at the pain the movement provokes, but I don’t push him away. The warmth of his chest and the steady beat of his heart soothe the ache that sears through my belabored body. “I’m here, my love.”
My love.
That isn’t the first time he says those words to me.
My love.
Those two little words make me cry harder, clinging to the man I love with all my heart. Who has cracked it too many times to count. Who nearly broke it when he came back to life after making me believe he was dead.
“It hurts,” I cry, clinging to him. The long, measured breath he takes tells me he knows I am not talking about my physical pain.
“I know,” he whispers into my hair as he gently rocks his body back and forth to soothe me. “I’m so sorry, Red. So sorry.”
He holds me as I weep for the pain and suffering I endured. Not just in that cell at the hands of a sadist, but also during the months he was gone. I weep for the life I could have had with my mother and father if the world hadn’t been so fucked up.
I weep until my eyes are heavy with sleep and hiccups turn to yawns.
“Sleep,” Matthias’s deep voice susurrates in my ear as he runs his hand through my hair. “The doctor will be here soon to check in on you. I won’t leave your side. I promise.”
I want to argue. To tell him that he already left me, but I don’t. Instead, I give over to my body’s demand and close my eyes, praying that my monster keeps the nightmares at bay.
An entire week.
I drift through feverish dreams for an entire week. Images of monsters and knights dance through my mind, the darkness refusing to let me go. I can hear my mother’s shattering screams. Kellan’s twisted laugh as he plunges yet another needle through my skin, his hands wandering, caressing, pinching. Marianne’s cold eyes watching me like a hawk, her face morphing into my mother’s, and then back again.
Over and over again, this plays, and each time, I can hear his soothing voice drifting through the fog. He whispers words of comfort and love. His gentle hand wipes at my brow, lips caressing my forehead so lightly I am unsure if it is happening at all.
Hushed tones fill the space around me as my nightmares shift and fade into oblivion. Gone, yet not completely forgotten. They always linger.
Just like the pain.
Pine and leather mix with the familiar scent of orange and cloves.
Safety.I am safe.
The early tendrils of the morning sun highlight the man sitting next to me, his hand buried in my hair, thumb rubbing soothing circles along my scalp.
My monster.
“We need to tell her.” That is Matthias. His voice is tense, fraught with frustration, but the hand on me is nothing but gentle.
“She’s been through enough already,” my father hisses in a low tone. “Telling her without having all the facts could damage her further.”
“She isn’t a piece of China,” Matthias snarls. “And I made a promise that there will be no more secrets. Ava deserves the truth, even if it only brings more questions than answers.”
My father sighs heavily and paces in front of the bed. He runs a hand roughly through his unkempt hair. He looks as if he hasn’t slept in days.
“I don’t understand how this is possible,” my father chokes. “Her body should be there.”
“It could have been dug up before they got there,” Matthias points out. Who are they talking about?