It felt as though he did not care at all what she had to say, only more concerned with ensuring that she did not make the samemistake again. She understood why he felt the way he did about the situation, but she did not share the same opinions about being seen as less than because she got a little dirty.
“I’m s-sorry, Your – Edward. I did not think of how my actions would be perceived and that was an oversight on my part. I should have simply pointed out the issue without feeling the need to involve myself directly in the solution. It will not happen again,” she apologized sincerely, despite the words leaving a distaste in her mouth.
The situation felt like a strict reminder that this was merely an arrangement. She thought the lines would blur between them at some point, but it seemed as though his concern with appearances served as an indicator that she was here to be his duchess and not just his wife.
“As long as you understand, then I believe that is fine,” he nodded curtly.
Phoebe exhaled, unable to dispel the heat in her cheeks as she grew increasingly aware of her filthy state.
“If you’ll excuse me, I’d like to go and clean up now.”
Without waiting for his response, she swiftly left the drawing room. Phoebe made her way to her bed chamber, feeling annoyed by the disconcerting feeling within her that lingered from the conversation. No matter what she did, she could not seem to shake off the bothersome weight sitting in her chest.
“Your Grace,” Maude smiled kindly from where she stood by Phoebe’s bedroom door with a small basket containing little vials. “We drew you a bath and I brought some scented oils and bars of soap to help you relax.”
It was a thoughtful idea and Phoebe felt sorry to have caused the older woman trouble, so she agreed readily.
“That sounds like a wonderful idea, Maude. Thank you.”
It had been a little unnerving, taking off her clothes and allowing herself to be rinsed off before she settled in the warm water. The sensation and soft scents wafting up with the steam really did help her relax and her mind began to wander as she leaned back against the edge of the bath tub.
Jenny arrived moments later to wash her hair and it took everything in Phoebe to allow herself to be pampered, but once she surrendered her sense of self, it was an enjoyable experience that allowed her mind to wander.
She had imagined things being different between them when they crossed paths after what had happened between them the night before. Phoebe was not sure of what she expected, but it certainly not what had transpired earlier, and it made her feel bad that it was her fault.
Still… had she been so wrong? Was there nothing in him that wanted to do more other that what was necessary to fulfil the agreement between them?
The more she thought about it, the clearer it became that she was vastly unprepared for what was to come. She longed to speak with her brother and sister, missing their comforting presence.
Once the bath was over, Jenny helped her get dressed and Maude informed her that a tray of light refreshments had been prepared for her.
“His Grace also asked me to inform you that an appointment will be made with a modiste and if you would like, she can come to the estate or you can visit her shop at your earliest convenience. She is to make you some new clothes, according to your taste of course,” the housekeeper added.
“How delightful,” Phoebe said, forcing herself to smile. “Please help me extend my gratitude to the duke. I will also thank him myself later.”
The gesture felt misplaced for some reason but Phoebe forced herself not to dwell on it for too long, because it was becoming clear that the standards of the household were not there for her to contest, but rather to obey.
And perhaps that is all she could do in this situation.
CHAPTER TEN
“The gardener would like to express his apologies to you and the duchess, for the problems caused by his mistakes in the garden,” Arnold reported. “He said that the duchess was right and he had accidentally planted two flowers that would compete for the nutrients in the soil and therefore hamper their development with them side by side. He finished the work Her Grace had begun – which he commended was quite neat – and expressed that he would never make the same mistake again.”
Edward exhaled deeply, feeling strangely bereft. He was relieved to hear that she had been right with her intentions, but that barely changed the fact that her actions had been beneath her.
The sooner she learned to act in a way that honoured her new title, the better it would be for them both.
So... why did he still feel bothered by it?
“How is she? The duchess... is she adapting well to the household?” the duke questioned, setting down his quill.
The butler stood straighter and nodded. “She has been rather eager to take on her duties as duchess. She is already preparing to oversee some renovations in different areas of the house, as well as the replacement of some furniture. Maude has remarked greatly about her instincts and sense of style, so we are expecting impressive results, based on what she has done thus far. The cook is quite... appreciative of her, because she always sends him her gratitude for each meal. She is very kind to every member of the staff.”
“That is good. I do want her to feel as comfortable as possible. Whatever she needs, ensure that she has it,” Edward instructed.
It was nice to receive word of her well-being, especially seen their paths had not crossed since they had that tense conversation a few days ago. At first, Edward had wanted to believe it was because they were both occupied with different tasks individually, but even when he purposefully left his study and walked out in hopes of catching sight of her, he did not get a chance to do so.
He caught a few glimpses of her taking walks outside in the garden from the window of his study and hurriedly making her way around corners in hallways, and he had a feeling she had been avoiding him. It only added to the discontent they had felt about how he had left things between them.