“Speaking of, what the hell were you doing with Cole?”
Jules didn’t answer right away, which was more telling than she knew. Cole was getting to her, and she didn’t know what to do about it. If Cole was strong enough to handle her constant sabotage, he might be the one to pull Jules out of her no-relationship funk.
“We’re just messing around. He had business he needed to handle in Santa Barbara and asked if I wanted to come along. He knows this is temporary and he’s okay with it. He is fully aware I don’t do feelings, or relationships.”
Things could change, I wanted to tell her, but I kept my mouth closed knowing it would cause her to push him away sooner.
I thought about the conversation I’d had with Mr. Easton promising him I wouldn’t develop feelings and decided I had to guard my heart. I needed to be more like Jules, but only when itinvolved Mr. Easton. I wasn’t going to allow Bradford to shatter my thoughts on falling in love.
“As long as he knows you’re a commitment-phobe.”
“Do you want to talk about that piece of shit Bradford or do you want to start plotting his murder? Your choice, but I really hope you pick the latter.”
“He said I wasn’t exciting, and that my life was too put together and he wanted to live.”
“Planning his murder it is.”
“No, fuck him. I honestly don’t want to feel anything for him. Indifference to him no longer being in my life is what he deserves. I don’t want to cry and mope around. He shattered my heart, but I refuse to feel as if I’m less than and I don’t deserve love.”
I cringed at my words. One of Jules’ problems after her ex broke it off with her was refusing to allow anyone into her heart again, and here my dumbass was telling her I wasn’t going to go that route.
“Rach, are you sure you’re okay? I mean, I’m so fucking proud of you, but you two were together for so long.” Her words were hesitant, and it was my turn to mull over what she’d just said.
I didn’t want to tell her about my arrangement with Mr. Easton. Not because I was embarrassed or wanted to keep things from my best friend, but I wasn’t sure how long it would last, and I didn’t want her to use our agreement to keep Cole at arm’s length.
“Maybe I felt him pulling away from us.”
“The asshat proposed to you.”
“I know, but he proposed to me while making breakfast and left right after. We haven’t had sex in a while. Do you remember Aurora’s face when I told her how he’d proposed?”
I felt Jules’ chin move in a nod on the top of my head.
“Her face was so excited when she asked about the proposal, and I was almost embarrassed to tell her, knowing she was going to be disappointed.”
“It was a shitty proposal,” Jules admitted.
“I deserve better.” And there were the tears again. They streamed down my cheeks, soaking into Jules’ shirt.
“Oh, babe, you deserve the best.”
We stayed quiet. My tears silently fell into Jules’ shirt as I allowed myself to mourn what I thought was my future. We fell asleep, watching trash TV, lost in our own heads.
My best friend stroked my hair until her hand went limp in sleep. I smiled, and my last thought was that Mr. Easton was going to have the worst case of blue balls because there was no way I was going to get rid of my best friend for rebound sex. Even if he had the most mouth-watering banana I’d ever seen.
Chapter 17
Jules was still asleep when I woke up. With the stealth a Navy Seal would have been impressed with, I snuck out of bed, wanting her to sleep in.
After peeing and taking more pain pills to kill the small hangover lingering in the front of my head, I snatched my phone and tiptoed into the living room.
I couldn’t help the smile that lit my face when I noticed Mr. Easton’s number.
I giggled realizing the texts were an hour apart, checking to make sure Jules was still asleep I texted him back.
He responded immediately.
I heard Jules getting up and turned my phone off, wiping the smile off my face.