“I believed Trent.” His face was etched with pain when he confessed. I stared at him in confusion, not understanding what he meant.
“I knew what you were doing as soon as you did it. I knew you were lying when you said you were getting back together with Jason. All I could think about was getting home so I could yell at you for saying something so stupid, and then make up with you. I realized you didn’t want me to give up anything for you. Jason’s dad's involvement was confusing, and it did piss me off. Hell, I still don’t know how he's connected with the tour. But I wanted to hear your story and find out the real reason, not that shit lie you told me to keep us apart. When you quit and nobody would tell me where you were, I went insane, knowing I had to wait until your graduation to confront you. To persuade you to stop pushing me away.” He rubbed the back of his neck, and his jaw clenched, his cheeks flashing his perfect dimples.
“But you told me to fuck off.”
His jaw locked tight before he continued. “Trent caught up to me after the ceremony. You looked so beautiful, by the way, and I was so proud of you. I can’t believe I was able to survive being away from you for as long as I did. Seeing you accept your diploma was the first time I felt like I could finally take a breath. Trent blindsided me when I was looking for you after the ceremony. He asked if I wanted to go get a beer, since we’d both lost you to Jason."
"He did what?"
"I thought maybe you had asked him to tell me you were with Jason so I would move on, but there was something in his eyes that made me believe him. He confirmed my worst nightmare. I was devastated. When he told me you got back together with Jason, my heart stopped beating. I couldn't believe how stupid I was to think you were just saying it, because you didn't think we would last. Never once did it cross my mind you might have actually gone back to him. At least, not until that fuckwad told me you did. I'm so fucking sorry I doubted you,” he said, kissing my forehead.
My brain was sluggish from the weight of his confession and the pain. I needed time to process. So, I asked him the one thing he wouldn't deny me.
“Will you lay with me?”
He paused for a moment, but then crawled in bed next to me. It took some careful maneuvering on my part, but I was able to lay my head on his shoulder and fall asleep. When I woke up, Kill was passed out next to me. The fucker was snoring.
“Hey, sweetie, how are you feeling?” Martha asked, coming over to the side of the bed. She was whispering so she wouldn't wake Kill.
“Sore. Where’s Dad?”
“I sent him home to get some sleep. Neither of them would leave until they knew you were going to be okay.”
She tilted her head to indicate she was talking about Kill as well as my dad. “The doctor said they're going to release you in a couple of days.” She brushed my hair back and handed me a glass of water to sip. “He loves you, Faith.”
My throat was too tight to talk. I cleared it quietly. “I know he does, but I keep bringing him misery. I'm not good for him.”
“You can’t keep pushing him away because you're scared, honey. You should give the boy a chance. He loves you, and I think you need to give both of you a chance.”
“I don’t know if I can. I love him so much that I can't see him get hurt. He would give up everything for me. I can't do that to him
Martha kissed me on the forehead and told me she was going to get a nurse so they could check my vitals. When the door shut behind her, Kill scared the hell out of me when he spoke.
“You're wrong.”
“I thought you were asleep,” I answered, wide eyed, wondering how much he’d heard.
“Faith, I love you. I've never loved anyone the way I love you, but I can’t be with you if you're going to constantly push me away. I know I'm being a huge hypocrite, but I’ve learned my lesson. I trust you and our love. But I can’t be the only one fighting for this relationship. If you decide you love me enough to give us a fighting chance instead of pushing me away, then you know where I'll be.” He got up off the bed and brushed his lips over mine before walking out. The door opened as soon as it closed, and I sat up, wanting to tell him I was all in. My heart plummeted when the nurse came in followed by Martha.
Once the nurse was finished taking my vitals, Martha asked me if I wanted her to find Kill. I shook my head, knowing he wasn’t in the hospital any longer.