She giggled around her candy, like I’d made an asinine suggestion.
“Okay, well, if you do, just name it after me,” I relented.
“Deal,” she agreed quickly.
“Alright, let’s get you on that bus,” I said, feeling less confident then what I was portraying.
After I gave everyone one more hug, Kill claimed my attention by throwing his arm over my shoulder.
“I love you, Slick. I'm going to miss you like crazy. Are you sure you don’t want to come along?”
I shook my head, as I watched Amy stand with them, enviously. Her schedule allowed her to leave with the band. Mine would too, if I abandoned the one class I was taking, but I had waited too long to give up on my dream class. At first, I’d planned on going with the boys for a week maybe two before school started. The desperate look Ray had shot me when he’d asked me to stay killed that idea. With school just around the corner, people were coming back into town after break, swamping the bar every night. With everything Ray had done for me, I couldn't leave him in a lurch, as much as I wanted to.
“I wish, but I couldn't do that Ray. Don't think the thought of dropping out of school and becoming your permanent roadie hasn't crossed my mind. But I’ve worked way too hard to leave when I'm so close to finishing.”
“You know that’s one of the reasons I love you so much. I'm so proud of you. I hate that I won’t be here to see you reach for your goal.”
“Come on, you two. We need to get to Ray’s so we can load the bus,” D yelled, already striding toward the front door.
We piled into D’s Highlander, none of us saying a word on the ride over. Everything the boys needed was already at Ray’s waiting to be loaded on the bus. Ray had given me a key so I could get in and lock up afterward. The boys tried to get him to meet them at the bar to say goodbye, but according to Ray, nothing could get him up at that ungodly hour—not even the boys.
During the drive, I noticed Van checking his phone religiously.
"Have you heard from her?" I asked him, leaning over the seat.
"No. I texted her asking her to meet us at Ray's, but she hasn't responded."
I kissed the back of his bald head as I cursed my best friend for being such an idiot.
The bus was already idling at the front of Ray’s as we pulled up. As soon as our feet hit the asphalt, there was a flurry of activity. The boys helped load everything under the bus.
All four boys and Amy scrambled aboard the bus, screaming as they pushed at one another. The only word I could make out, besides every four-letter word I’d ever heard, was dibs, as they declared the rack they wanted.
I walked on the bus at a slower pace. I had no reason to secure a sleeping spot, so I didn't feel the need to rush. Melancholy pummeled me with every step, and it took all the will I had to keep the tears at bay.
Jet and Amy were snuggled into one of the bigger racks, already seeming at home. Kill's hand reached out from behind a curtain and pulled me into the rack he would now call home. We situated ourselves in the tiny space, our faces inches apart.
A picture of us together was already taped to the wall. My valiant effort was destroyed when I saw our smiling faces staring back at me. One lone tear spilled onto my cheek, as my body admitted defeat.
“Hey, it will go by fast; I promise. Don’t be sad; I'm doing this for us,” he whispered. He braced himself on top of me and peppered kisses over my tear-streaked face.
“Don’t do this for me. Do this for you,” I replied. My voice was tight from the emotions choking me.
“You're a part of me, Slick. You saved me from myself and my destructive ways. You're my family, so everything I do is for us.” I blinked up at him until he was no longer blurry. “I love you, Slick, and I'm going to miss the fuck out of you.”
“I love you too, Killer. Go have fun. I'll be here, if you still want me,” I said, trying to be funny.
His jaw clenched, telling me he didn't find my attempt at humor funny at all. The urge to eat the words that just left my mouth was maddening. The last thing I wanted to do was fight right before he left. Or maybe that was exactly what I wanted to do. Fighting couldn't hurt as bad as the grinding pain I felt knowing the bus would be pulling out of the parking lot in a few minutes.
“Slick, you need to understand. I need what I'm going to say to stick in that beautiful head of yours. I will always want you, and nothing is going to change that.” He rolled off me and yanked the curtains back so he could climb out of the rack. His jaw ticked as he extended his hand to help me crawl out after him. His dimples flashed on and off his cheeks as his eyes played through different emotions.
I couldn't handle the pain I saw there, so I diverted my gaze to study the evil vehicle that would be taking him away from me. The bus was nicer than I’d expected. There was a small kitchen area with a tiny table equipped with bench seats on each side. A little living area contained a couch and flat screen TV mounted on the wall across from it.
The bus driver, Gus, walked in while I was studying the interior. "Everything is secure, and we’re ready to depart," he said with a thick southern accent.
Kill took my hand and introduced me. "Gus, this is the love of my life, Faith."
Gus was a short, skinny older man with salt-and-pepper hair. The front of his shiny head had lost the fight, while the back held fast to every strand of hair for dear life. His mouth had crease lines on each side, marking his lifetime of smiles. I wrapped my arms around him in a secure hug.