Chapter 1
Kill
Iknew Faith wasn't going to leave me for her piece of shit ex, Jason, but the panic gripping my throat didn't seem to echo that sentiment. My sweat-slicked hands pressed against my thighs to keep from reaching out to her. Adrenaline continued to pump its way into my muscles after walking into her room. I could see the panic in her eyes as she packed her things. When I wrapped my arms around her, his name on her lips hit me as if it physically manifested into a hammer, and I was sure it was a fatal blow.
"This is it?" The harsh words burned as they flew out of my mouth, and I didn't miss her body flinch from their cruelty. Her bright red face drained of color leaving her whiter than her normal complexion. The freckles on her nose were now showcased by her pallor. My lack of trust seemed to hurt her just as much as it hurt me. I felt like my body was ripping in two.
“Idiot. I'm not going back to him. I'm running from him, and fuck you and your lack of confidence, asshole.” She poked her finger into my chest as the retort exploded from her mouth.
My body sagged with relief. Rational actions were something I was incapable of when around her. I wanted to have all the assurance in the world in Faith, but I felt undeserving of her love.
“Why are you running?” Even though I felt I wasn't worthy, didn't mean I was going to let her go.
“Because, dumbass, he had the restraining order revoked...” When her voice caught, red blurred my vision.
“He did what?” The veins in my neck throbbed with fear. Every beat of my heart pulsed out,Don’t lose her, becoming its own personal mantra.
“The restraining order-his dad had it removed, and all I could think about was getting as far away from him as possible,” she yelled, hiccupping at the end. When she mentioned leaving, she moved closer, so that our toes were now touching. That alone ebbed the red edging my sight. Relief cooled my anger.
“So, what? You were just going to grab everything and run, without telling anyone?”Without telling me?
“Yes, that was my plan, before you interrupted me.” Her face pinched as she tried to hold back the tears, making her jade eyes sparkle. My fear of her leaving abated, somewhat. Her actions told me she was almost as far gone as I was.
“You can’t run away from him. If you do, you'll be running your whole life,” I reasoned. My hands were now fists, positioned at my sides so I wouldn't pull her toward me. We both needed to calm down before we touched. If I put my hands on her curvy body, my sanity would snap.
“What am I supposed to do, Kill? Please, give me advice, since you seem to know everything.” Her question dried up the remaining tears glistening in her eyes as she squared her shoulders, her perfect breasts straining toward me.
Her sarcasm slowly returned her to me. The stubborn attitude I loved about her was also the same thing I loathed. Until she was able to move beyond the damage Jason's abuse and her childhood abandonment had caused her, we would be locked in an uphill battle to establish trust.
My figurative hiking boots were strapped on. I was going to have to scramble and claw my way into her heart inch by inch, and today’s climb looked to be a steep incline. She would accept the inevitable sooner or later; she just needed to get there. Patience was not one of my stronger virtues, so I would need to keep giving her not-so-subtle nudges.
“Fight back. You don’t seem to have a problem doing that with me,” I answered, exasperated. I couldn't understand how someone who fought with me over every little thing could let others walk all over her.
“That’s because I trust you,” she shouted.
My mouth hung open as her statement slammed into me. She trusted me. I’d been waiting forever to hear those magical words, and she finally gave them to me.
Before she could continue, I mashed my lips against hers. Vanilla and lavender assaulted my mouth. She threw her arms around my neck, holding on as if I were her lifeline. Her hungry reaction after her revelation was a shock to my system. She always had a way of catching me off guard.
Her acceptance of my kiss had my cock springing to life. Reaching down, I grabbed onto her magnificent ass, hauling her up so she could wrap her athletic legs around my waist. I sucked on her bottom lip as my hard-on brushed against her center.
The taste of my Faith exploded inside me as I plunged my tongue into her welcoming mouth. Hastily, I carried her toward the bed, and we tumbled onto the blankets, our mouths never parting, melded together by passion.
She granted me temporary access, permitting me to bypass the wall she’d built around her heart. It wouldn't be permanent. She’d sustained far too much damage for one breakthrough to annihilate her insecurities, but it was a start. With one taste, the wait to have her in my arms had been worth it. As her soft body conformed to mine, one thing became clear-I’d be willing to wait a lifetime for the next one. I just hoped it wouldn't take that long.
“Fuck, please, don’t make me stop," I growled as I kissed my way down her neck, sucking hard on her heated skin. Instead of answering, she pulled my head back, biting my bottom lip to hold it in place as her tongue lashed across it. I pushed my erection into her body, wanting to show her the effect she had on me.
“I don’t care if a marching band parades through here; I need you." I placed the seam of my jeans against her heat, making her gasp at the contact. “You like that?” I rumbled, rocking into her again. When she shuddered beneath me, a thrill rushed through me. Her reaction was better than I imagined. And I had imagined it a lot.
Her legs wrapped tighter around me. She recklessly clawed at my back, indicating her control had dissolved right along with mine. I kissed her greedily, willing her essence to flood me. My tongue slid in to explore, and she sucked on it with abandon.
I pulled away. “Fuck, don’t do that. You already have me so close to the edge. I feel like I'm going to shoot off in my pants," I groaned.
She giggled and rocked up into me.
“That’s it,” I ground out between my teeth.
A startled gasp escaped her lips as I took her nipple into my mouth through her t-shirt, and I damn near exploded. I'd never been so worked up before. She was in my blood, pumping through me, claiming me. Faith had consumed me.