I grinned, hating that I was happy about that, but still signed,“It was a bullshit call and high stakes games should never come down to bad calls. Makes it hard to celebrate the win.”
I scanned the menu a few times, finding what I wanted. I selected build your own and chose a small pepperoni and added pineapples. Next was a small ground beef. I wasn’t a huge pepperoni fan. Once I was done, I handed the phone back so he could complete the transaction then Ryland hopped onto the counter and responded to my last statement.
“But you’re still celebrating the win.”
I lifted onto the counter across from Ryland and shrugged.“I am, but it still sucks.”
He nodded.“So why am I in the principal’s office?”
I playfully rolled my eyes.“Not the principal’s office. I just wanted to discuss a few things.”
“Okay…”he signed, looking uncertain.
“Everything here is perfect but I want to be sure you know the things you buy for her are only a small part of what Rylee will need to adjust here with you.”
“Are you saying I’m throwing my money around and not considering what she needs?”
“No,”I responded quickly.“Absolutely not.”
“Then what are you saying because it seems like that’s what you’re insinuating.”
“I’m really not. I just want you to be realistic about what having Rylee with you looks like. Her life will be vastly different than yours. How she sees things, what she feels, how the world sees her. You’re hearing. Simple stuff you take for granted willmean the world to her. I know what that looks like. It’s my life. I exist in that world. I’ve been Rylee,”I signed in frustration. We engaged in a staring standoff with his jaw tight and the vein at his temple pulsing.
Eventually he gave in and signed,“You have thoughts about how I need to navigate this.”
“More like insight on things you might not know or consider.”
“Such as?”
“She’s deaf. Her world, her language, her life is a culture. A beautiful culture that you have to learn to be part of. It’s not just Rylee learning to exist in a hearing world.”
His expression dropped, allowing me to see I’d touched on something he hadn’t considered.
“What I’m doing is so she fits into my world, not me fitting into hers?”
“Yes, and I only want you to be aware of that because it’s easy for things to end up being one-sided.”
“What do I need to do?”
I smiled, relaxing because he was determined, willing to do whatever it took to make sure he did whatever necessary for Rylee.“Rylee spent the first five years of her life excluded. She went to school but she was still alone, which I think was learned behavior for how she functioned at home with her mother.”
Ryland’s face tensed at the mention of their mother as it did each time Felicia came up. I could only assume their relationship wasn’t favorable. I didn’t know his story, only that he referenced his biological mother as Felicia while Miranda and Orlando were his mom and dad.
“Most kids learn the foundation of their language and how to communicate properly early in life. The majority start as babies. Rylee didn’t have that. Until she entered Pre-K, your sister had no means to communicate with anyone. She wasscared and likely frustrated because she didn’t know how to communicate her needs…”
I paused my hands, noticing the tension building in his body. This was tough but he needed this explained in order to understand his sister.
“I’m going to make that right.”
His hands moved harshly when he relayed his thoughts.“The past is the past but you have the ability to ensure she never repeats that time in her life. I’m only telling you because it will better help you understand Rylee and what she needs. There are times when she sequesters herself. She’s very independent and you have to know when to allow her to be and when you need to step in and be the parent.”
“I can do that.”
“You can…”I smiled reassuringly.“But it won’t always be easy because the world will tell you how you need to show up in her life.”
“I don’t give a fuck what other people think.”
That was easier said than done. As a teacher, I had seen disasters happen with the care of kids like Rylee. When educators and specialists presented themselves as experts, parents often felt conflicted about accepting their advice as law or the only alternatives. Parents knew their children, and at the core they should lean into that, but Ryland did not know Rylee.