“I am happy you did, too.”
After that, words fall away. I take one of her hands in mine, our fingers intertwined like our bodies and souls. Even as my thrusts speed up, neither of us looks away for more than a handful of seconds. Seeing Matilde’s lovely face, tracing her lips, studying her eyes, memorizing every detail while we make love, all of it is mine to discover and treasure. I don’t want it to end.
“Hold on.” She squeals when I roll her over so she can be on top. Uncertainty flashes in her eyes. “This is new to me, too. I've never experienced this position, but I like the idea of you riding my cock while I gaze at your face. Will you do that, wife? Ride me?”
The last of her doubt melts away with my admission and request. She sinks down, a sexy moan spilling from her mouth. Maybe this is even better than the other position. I can’t say for sure, but I can’t get enough of watching her body move while she finds her rhythm and grows more confident either. My possessive soul loves that I’m claiming all her firsts, but she’s leading me into new territory, too.
After her climax, followed by my own, when we’re sated and exhausted, she snuggles up beside me in the bed, laying her head against my chest. “I loved that.”
“I did, too,” I admit.
And cuddling with her now? Maybe that’s the best part. I don’t have to decide on the answer now. As we agreed on our wedding night, we have time.
She takes her time touching and exploring my body as though she’ll never get enough. She lightly traces the tattoo under my ribs the same way she touched my scar. “What does it mean?” she asks, staring at the cursive script.
The words are written in Italian, and I know she’s asking about its significance.I will walk to hell for you.
“I got it for Dante. Before his initiation. It’s not a happy story, but one I could tell you another time.”
She nods in acceptance before settling down to sleep.
I stay awake as long as I possibly can, holding her close… and not wanting to acknowledge that looming, ever-present fear of losing her or failing her like I did my first wife. Losing Matilde when I love her so much? I'll do anything to avoid that.
***
“I will say it three thousand times if I must, but you will believe before I am done with you.”
It doesn’t take Matilde telling me three thousand times to believe.
The next morning, I’m brushing my teeth when she’s drying her hair. Leaning over, she kisses my scarred cheek as I’m finishing with the toothbrush. Suddenly, her brow furrows, and she points at the place she just kissed.
For three painful seconds, I freeze, convinced she’s finally realized how ugly I am.
Then, her smile reappears, like sunshine breaking through the clouds after rain, as she wipes away some drying toothpaste that had found its way to my cheek.
“Che cosa?”she asks, concerned by my mystified expression.
“Let’s go wake up the kids.”
I couldn’t say it was nothing. That would’ve been a lie. I couldn’t say how much it meant either. Not yet. But it was exactly what I needed. Just like her.
42
Matilde
“Thank you for coming with us today, Zeta,” I say on our way back from a pediatrician’s appointment a week later.
“Thankyoufor inviting me. I was going out of my mind at home.” Between her husband’s deteriorating condition and having Cosima and Vera Barzetti still living as pampered captives under her roof, it’s been stressful.
“Maybe Nico will let them go before long.”
Zeta quickly shakes her head. “Not likely. I don’t believe Vera was involved, and nothing has been found directly tying Cosima to anything, but better safe than sorry."
It seems wrong for the women to suffer for the actions of their husbands, but I value Zeta's opinion. "I never thought to ask Nico, but what happened to Cosima's bodyguards?"
"I imagine the same thing that happened to any of Antonio's men when Nico came for them," she replies. He wiped out almost all of Antonio's crew except for Bobo from Spice who proved himself on Christmas Eve and several occasions since then.
"Cosima mentioned her bodyguards were men her father trusted and that Antonio accepted them as part of their arrangement."