Zeta holds Lucia whose pale green dress and bonnet is ornamented with embroidered ivy that matches the skirt of my gown. She’s absolutely precious, even gnawing determinedly on her chubby fist.
They’re six months old now with a handful of teeth between them, rosy cheeks and darling smiles.
And I am eighteen years old, freshly graduated from high school and about to become their mother in every way that matters. For the rest of my life, from now until I’m dust, there will never be a day when these two children will not occupy my thoughts, my plans, my prayers, my dreams and my heart.
Their father will be my husband. He does not love me. He probably never will. But tonight, he will lay with me. He might even wish to make me a mother again sometime soon. A Capo’s life is filled with uncertainty. He’ll want more sons to carry on his name, won’t he? And he’ll arrange marriages for our daughters with men like him someday. Cold men. Cruel men. Criminals. Torturers. Murderers.
“Matilde, are you-”
“No, I…I need a moment!”I shriek in Italian, dashing into the bathroom and locking the door behind me.
***
I haven’t felt panic like that since my abduction, but I’m regretting climbing out this window. It’s a long way down, much farther than the fall from my father’s wooden fence, and this trellis doesn’t seem as sturdy as the one at Nico’s house.
“Whatthe fuckare you thinking?”
“That I am going crazy,” I admit, meeting Nico’s stern face. “Help me, per favore.”He does, wrapping his arms around my waist with ease and pulling me inside without even snagging my gown on the windowsill.“Grazie.I hope no one else saw that.”
“Were you going to jump?” he asks, still holding me.
I quickly shake my head. “I got… cold toes?”
He snorts. “You mean cold feet.”
“Yes. But that is all. I did not want to hurt myself.”
“Oh God!” Zeta screeches when she sees the open window and me in her son’s arms. She instantly turns on him, a mother bear going after a mob boss. “This! This is what you have pushed her to! Because you probably twisted her arm."
"You will find Matilde's arm untwisted."
"Don't get smart with me, Nico! You think I haven’t been married to a Capo for thirty years? You think I don’t know what you’re capable of when you’ve decided on something?”
“Mother-”
“Don’t ‘Mother’ me! Have you considered her feelings at all?”
“I wanted to speak to her earlier but you-”
“She’s terrified! She was shaking so much at the spa today that the esthetician couldn’t finish with her.”
“The what?”
“The woman waxing her unmentionable areas.” Nico’s eyebrows climb skyward as heat blasts my cheeks, and I really wish Zeta hadn’t brought that up.
“Mother, with all due respect, get the fuck out.”
“But you can’t see her in her dress before the ceremony!”
I can’t say why, but I start cackling at the silly, pointless superstition. “He has already seen me. Better he sees me than I fall.”
I make a whooshing noise followed by a splat sound.
And Nico’s rumbling laughter suddenly fills the small space.
I made him laugh.My jaw drops before my smile grows so broad my cheeks ache, and Zeta’s frantic expression softens.
His gray eyes, so stormy, latch onto mine, and some silent agreement passes between us. “Will you give me a few minutes with my bride?”