I hear every word she’s saying. I even understand it. But for some reason, my body is focused on how she’s saying it. The way she loves what she does.
Now I understand why she took it so seriously. She was learning her craft. Same as I was learning football. So, I lean back in my chair, cross my arms and challenge her. I’ve always thought she hates to be challenged but I love seeing that fire in her eyes.
“So my brain thinks catching a ball is life threatening?” A little smirk slides across my face.
Her mouth twitches, and her eyes gleam. “No but your brain may think getting hit by a linebacker is.”
Fair.
The perfect comeback.
This time it’s her that stands, moves about the room, stopping in front of the window. The sunlight catches her hair and for a second she almost looks angelic. Almost.
“Elite athletes like you rely on automatic response. Instinct and muscle memory. But fear interrupts the chain ofevents,” she says as she abruptly turns back toward me. “We need to interrupt the fear.”
“How do we do that?” I ask, trying to match her enthusiasm which comes off fake.
“The cue or trigger word I mentioned earlier,” she explains. “Something short your brain can latch onto before the catch.”
My fingers skim over my jaw. “You want me to talk to myself on the field.”
“You already do. You mutter after dropped passes,” she says calmly. “You did it twice in the clips I watched this morning.”
“Are you studying game film… of me?”
“Of course, I did.”
She didn’t have to do that. Not yet.
Something about that settles oddly in my chest.
“So what’s the magic word?”
She shrugs. “It has to mean something to you.”
“Focus?”
She shakes her head with the end of the pen tapping her lips. “Too generic.”
“Catch?”
“Too obvious?” Her gaze drifts to my hands resting on my knees. “Trust?”
The word stretches between us. I roll it around in my head.Trust.
Maybe that’s why being in this room feels dangerous.
Because somewhere between hating her and needing help, I’m starting to trust her opinion.
“Okay. That’s it?” I ask.
“Stand up.”
“When the ball is coming your way, you inhale once. Slow and controlled.” She lays her hand on my chest, and I swear it sizzles through my shirt. “Do it. Then say the word in your head or out loud. Try it both ways.”
“Say trust and I magically catch the ball.”
She gives me a quick eye roll. “Not magically. You’re interrupting the fear response.”