"No, Elira. Promise me. Not a single person hears about this."
Her head shakes and she frowns at me. "The wedding's in four months. You'll be showing by then, Marina. Maybe even before then, depending on how your body carries. You can't hide this sort of thing. It's not really something that can stay a secret."
"Oh, my God," I whine, rolling over. I take the pillow and cover my face, dropping both arms over it until it presses on my nose and mouth, making it harder to breathe. I'm such an idiot. I can't believe how stupid I am.
"Girl," she grunts, tugging the pillow away from my face so I'm left staring up at the sheer curtains hanging from the cross bars of my four-poster bed. "Are you at least going to tell Mystery Man?"
I shoot upright as fast as lightning. "God, no!" I hiss, turning to face her. "Are you crazy?" God, he would hate me. I can't marry him and he's already told me he loves me. What am I supposed to do, flag a baby around in his face and tell him Maksim is gonna raise it? He'd be so angry.
"You think he'd do something reckless?"
"No," I say, softening my reaction. "But he doesn't know my father." I press a hand to my forehead and choke back a sob. "He's already told me he loves me and he asked me to marry him, Lira. I can't tell him I'm having his baby. I have to marry Maksim. You know how my father is."
Elira flops back on the bed as I grab a pillow and hug it to my chest. She looks thoughtful though concerned for me. She reallyis a good friend even though she doesn't like to rock the boat. I know deep down, she cares and wants to help me, but this is a situation I’m not sure anyone could help with. I made my bed and now I have to lie in it.
"Sleep with Maksim," she says abruptly before turning to lie on her side facing me.
"What? No!" I hiss, scowling at her. "Are you nuts?"
"This week, if you can manage it. Make it feel natural, make it convincing, and when the pregnancy becomes obvious, the timing lines up and it's his. It's perfect, Rina. He'll believe it and you'll be saved."
"Elira, I can't do that." I push off the bed, throwing the pillow on top of her as I stalk to my dresser and pick up a peppermint I bought last week at the pharmacy. Sucking on them helps the nausea go away and right now, with my emotions so high, I'm feeling even worse than I was before she came.
"I know you don't want to." She sits up cross-legged and plants her elbows on her knees. "But if Maksim finds out this baby isn't his, he won't just sit you down for a conversation about it. You know that... Think about this for a second. You're in a family of criminals."
The peppermint starts to melt, releasing its sweetness, and I swallow the juices from it as I slink back to bed and crawl in, pulling the covers over me completely. I don't even want to think about things like this, let alone live them. This doesn't seem fair at all.
"There has to be something else," I mumble, and she throws the covers back so she can see my face.
"Do you really think when Maksim finds out that he won't go right after Stepan and kill him?" She grimaces. "He's a sweet guy, Rina, but he's not like Maksim. He's just a normal man and Maksim is a cold-blooded killer."
I pull the covers back up to my chin and press my eyes closed. It's too much all at once. I have to wrap my head around the fact that I’m pregnant first before I decide how or when to share it. I'm not totally stupid. I know my body will change and hiding it will be impossible, and while Elira's suggestion poses a credible way out of it, the thought of sleeping with Maksim makes me feel even sicker.
"I want to be alone now," I tell her bluntly at the risk of offending her. But she doesn't seem offended by my comment, just sad.
"Are you going to be alright tonight?" she asks, standing up.
"I'll be fine. I think we're doing dinner with Maksim tonight." I might try to get out of that now, tell them I'm sick or something. I can't stand the idea of seeing him. The guilt will eat me alive.
She wraps her arms around me and plants her chin on top of my head, her arms tight around my shoulders. "I'm just a phone call away, okay?" she whispers before standing up.
I watch her walk to the door and out before I let the real waterworks begin.
I'm pregnant with Stepan's baby and if I were dating him, it would be a challenge but not devastating. As it is, this is going to change my life, but add to that the complication of this marriage arrangement and it may very well kill me.
Literally.
Maksim isn’t the sort of man who messes around, and if this throws off the alliance agreement, it may be something he kills over.
What have I done?
14
STEPAN
Marina has been quiet for a few days, more than four, actually, and I'm not happy about it. It's made me agitated and defensive. I've told Kazimir off twice and Timur asked me if I'm alright. I just can't stand that she rejected me and even after meeting up at my safehouse to have sex one night, she is still acting strangely.
I've called her a few times each day, and when she does answer she won't agree to meet me. She keeps giving excuses about her father or that jerk she's supposed to marry, and I'm beginning to think she's trying to avoid me.