“We’ve never done this—” Spencer gestured between us and then clarified, “Had more than a one-night stand with someone, I mean. Not since we’ve been together. Our relationship is open—we’ve both hooked up with other people, men and women—but it’s never involved any kind of emotional connection with them. I hope you realize you’re different, Keels.”
I shrugged, feigning indifference, when really my heart had started beating like I’d run a marathon. Hope surged in me. I longed to be different than the other people they’d been with. I loved spending time with them and hooking up. The fact that they liked me back was insane. I still couldn’t believe it. I knew they wanted our hookups to continue, but I hadn’t been able to pin my hopes for more than that for fear my heart would be crushed. Brayden had told me in the early days that they wanted me to be theirs, but I’d always assumed I was just a hookup. “I mean—”
“Will y’all go steady with us, Keeley?” Brayden asked, his drawl more pronounced when he spoke in that serious tone. “Just the three of us. No one else.”
“Seriously?” I looked between them, and my heart jumped in my throat, my stomach flip-flopping in anticipation. “For real? For more than hookups?”
“Yes,” Spencer said. “The three of us dating. We want you, and not just for the sex. Bray was serious about the house. He’s already got Hannah’s bedroom picked out, and I wasn’t going to sign anything unless I knew you loved it and Hannah would have access to a good school.”
Tears sprang to my eyes. “That’s why you asked me to go with you,” I gushed. They nodded, and a laugh bubbled up out of me, sounding more like a hiccup. “Yes. I want that.”
“Y’all, can we toss out the condoms?” Brayden asked with a cheeky grin.
I’d gone against everything ever taught to me about safe sex and had foregone the condoms every time with them. After each time we’d hooked up, I’d put it down to the heat of the moment. But it wasn’t that at all. I trusted them not to put me at risk. Brayden had promised me their test results were clear, and I hadn’t had a problem believing him. It had taken me a while to realize it, but I trusted them implicitly.
“Toss them out,” I agreed with a smile, then said the words I didn’t think I’d ever say to another man again, let alone two. “I trust you.” I exhaled, feeling lighter than I had in forever. “And like I said before, I can’t have kids, so there’s no worries about pregnancy.”
“Why not, Keels?” Spencer asked gently. “I mean, if you want to tell us, that is.”
“I have primary ovarian insufficiency. Basically, my ovaries don’t work. I don’t have enough eggs, meaning I’m basically infertile. I take estrogen and progesterone so I don’t have any symptoms of menopause, but that can’t cure my infertility.”
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered.
“It’s okay. I have Hannah. She’s everything I’ve ever dreamed of.”
“She’s pretty incredible,” Brayden praised.
“Have you adopted her?” Spencer asked as he played with Brayden’s hair again.
“It’s pending.” I sighed. “I need the divorce to go through before I can give the agency the rest of the information they need. Until it’s official, Simon still has some rights.”
I clenched my teeth and focused on brushing a piece of imaginary lint off the sheets. It was more than an irk at this point. He had never been and never would be her father, no matter what. But knowing that the law still regarded him as being entitled grated on me worse than his cheating ever had. It wasn’t fair to Hannah, and I would protect her from having tospend time with him when he only wanted a relationship so he could lord his status as her “father” over me.
“I can’t risk having a custody battle with him over her. It’s my own fault the divorce has taken this long. I kept putting it off because I had so much happening, but I didn’t realize Simon still had parental rights. I thought because we’d already separated when I got Hannah it was fine. We’d only split a couple of hours before she arrived, but I just didn’t put two and two together. Once I found out, I got the papers drawn up and lodged straight away. Now I just need to wait for the time to expire and the court to rubber stamp it.”
“But it’s happening. That’s good,” Brayden soothed.
“I can’t wait to throw Hannah a party.” Spencer grinned happily. He was as excited as a kid at Christmas.
“You don’t have to organize a party for her, you know,” I started.
“But I want to. I’m totally looking for an excuse to eat fairy bread and little boys.”
“Say what?” Brayden asked, turning his head so fast, his neck cracked. He groaned, the sound turning into a happy sigh at the end. “Fuck, I needed that.”
“Fairy bread or little boys?”
“Start with the little boys,” Brayden ordered.
Spencer chuckled. Still grinning, he replied, “They’re cocktail sausages. Kind of like breakfast links but with red skin on them. I don’t know why, but at home we call them little boys. Fairy bread is literally white bread with butter and hundreds and thousands on them.”
I looked at him blankly, and Spencer rolled his eyes. “Sprinkles. But not the long ones, the little balls.”
“Oh, okay,” I agreed still stuck on the little boys.
“All the Aussie PAGs would know what I’m talking about.”
“Y’all are weird,” Brayden teased.