Kiera stands and stretches, joints softly popping. “Yeah, we should probably get home.”
Before I can stop myself, the words are already out of my mouth. “You can stay here. I have a guest room.”
Lila side-eyes me with a grin. “I’m tired, and that sounds like a great idea. Cam, can you show me the way?”I like this girl.
“Um, sure. This way.” Cam leads Lila toward the guest.
“Well, I guess I don’t get an option.” Kiera laughs softly, “Guess I should head after her.”
I grab her hand as she goes to walk away and tug her toward me. She stumbles, catching herself with her palms flat against my chest. “I’m sorry for Cam’s questions. He isn't a social person and apparently was never taught basic social cues.”
“It’s fine. Really.” Kiera glances down at my lips, then back to my eyes. Suddenly, she pushes away from me. “Sterling, I can’t. We can’t.”
“Why not? You obviously enjoy how I make you feel.” I take another step closer to her.
“Because, Sterling, I’m broken. I don’t know how to love anymore.” The words drop between us, heavy enough to drag the air down with them.
“You’re not the only fucking broken one here, Ki. You can fight this all you want, but I’m here. You’re fucking stuck with me.” I sigh, catch her hand, and tug her toward my room. “Did you ever stop to think the reason we’re so drawn to each other is that we are equally fucked up? Our souls recognize the same damage in each other and just…call to their match?” I grab the only photo I have of my mom from the top drawer and press it into her hands. “This is my mom. She’s the one who fucked me up. She beat me, tortured me. She fucking starved me in her many attempts to break me—she did. There are whole chunks of my childhood I don’t remember because of her.” My throat tightens, but I keep going. “She brought other people there. Made me do horrible things.” I meet Kiera’s eyes, making sure she can’t look away. “So yeah, you may be broken, Kiera. But that doesn’t change a single thing for me, because I’m just as broken.”
Kiera’s eyes shine with tears she refuses to let fall as she stares down at the photo. She looks down at the photo. “Sterling.” She lifts her gaze back to me, like my name is the only thing she can manage to say.
“I didn’t tell you for pity. I told you so you’d know you’re not alone. Their sins are not ours to bear—they never were.”
Kiera shakes her head. “No. The woman in this photo…that’s Miss Angel.”
The world tilts as I try to wrap my head around what she just said. How can my mom be the chef Kiera adored? They don’t even sound like the same person. “How old were you when the memory loss started?” I ask, even though I’m not sure I want the answer.
“It started around seven, but it was on and off until I was eighteen. When I moved out of my father's house.” She watches me with the same confused look I’m sure I’m giving her.
“So, around the same time as mine, but it stopped shortly after my mom disappeared. What are we missing?” I flop back on the bed. I always knew my mom was a horrible person, but could she really be tied up in this, too?Fuck me, I thought I was done with her shit.
Kiera curls up beside me, her warmth seeping through the fog in my head. “I don’t know, but we will figure it out. Let’s just get some rest. Lila is probably already asleep.” She hesitates, fingers brushing my arm. “Can I just stay in here?”
Nodding, I strip down and pull the covers back, motioning for her to climb in. Once she’s settled, I slide in beside her. I fold one arm beneath my head and stare up at the ceiling. We stay like that in the quiet, saying nothing, until sleep finally drags us both under.
“Hi.” I look over to my left and see a girl a few years younger than me watching me curiously. “What are you doing here?” she asks.
“I don’t know.” My brain feels thick and groggy, like it’s wading through mud. The last thing I remember is the man handing me a protein bar.How did I end up here? “Where are we?”
“We’re at my house, silly. Mom and Dad said we were going to be friends. Do you want to be my friend?” I glance around and realize we’re in a basement—but it’s not the same one I was in before.
“Um, sure.” My voice comes out thin and unsure. “Do you know where my mom is?” What happened? None of this makes sense. This has to be a bad dream.
“No. Dad said to stay down here. We can’t leave.” My breathing picks up. This can’t be happening.
The sound of dripping water grows louder as I blink myself awake. I’ve been moved again. I was just with a little girl—where did she go? My head throbs in time with each drip, and my stomach twists, whether from hunger or whatever they keep dosing me with, I don’t know. A nearby door creaks open. “Oh, good, you’re awake,” my mom’s voice slices through the silence.
“Where am I?” I push myself upright slowly, the room tilting and spinning around me. “Where’s that little girl?”
“Where you’ve always been. There’s been no little girl.” Her face stays blank, unreadable. God, no. This can’t be happening. I know I saw her.
“Yes, there was. This man came in and gave me food, and then I woke up in another room with her.” I grip the edge of whatever I’m lying on, knuckles aching. I cannot be losing my mind right now.
“Sterling, stop being dramatic. We have a guest coming soon. Don’t screw this up.”
My mind is spiraling. I feel like I’m losing days. My stomach growls. “Can I have some food, please? I’m starving.”
“No. When you stop being so emotional, then you can have food.” Mom laughs, the sound edged with the exact cruelty she intends.