"Talk to me."
I stared out the window for a minute, watching the city go by, before I finally said it.
"What is this, Trigg?"
"What's what?"
"Us. What we doing."
He sucked his teeth. "Man, we chilling. You know that."
"Chilling," I repeated, my voice flat. "We been chilling for a year now."
"And? We good, ain't we?" He shrugged, that cocky-ass smirk on his face. "I don't see the problem."
"The problem is I don't know what the fuck we are." I turned to look at him. "Like, what am I to you? For real."
"You my shorty."
"Your shorty? Nigga, that don't mean shit and you know it."
He laughed, actually laughed, like I said something funny.
"Man, why you tripping right now? We was having a good day."
"I'm not tripping, Trigg. I'm asking you a real ass question and you playing with me."
"I ain't playing. I told you what it is."
"You told me nothing!" I felt myself getting heated. "We been doing this for a year. A whole year. And we still moving like we sneaky links. Like we hiding or some shit."
"We not hiding—"
"Then what you call it? You don't post me. I don't post you. Your homies don't really know about me like that, we don't go on real dates unless it's last minute. Like, what the fuck?" He was quiet for a second, his jaw clenching,
"I don't do all that extra shit, Mya. You knew that when we started"
"Extra? Wanting you to claim me is extra?"
"Nah, but wanting me to post you on social media every five seconds and tell everybody our business is."
"I don't want you to post me every five seconds! I just want you to act like you actually fuck with me! Like I'm not just some bitch you calling when you bored!"
"Aye." His voice got deeper, more serious. "Watch yo’ mouth. you know you more than that."
"Do I?" I stared at him, waiting for him to say something that wasn't sarcastic or cocky. "Tell me what I am to you then."
He didn't answer. He just kept driving, his hand gripping the steering wheel tighter.
"That's what I thought," I said, shaking my head. "You can't even say it."
"Man, why you doing this right now?"
"'Cause I'm tired, Trigg!" My voice cracked and I hated it. Hated that he was making me feel like this.
"I'm tired of acting like this shit don't bother me. I'm tired of pretending like I'm okay with being your secret or whatever the fuck I am."
"You not my secret—"