I want to know why Nan wouldn’t talk about it.
I want to know if she’s thought of me over the years.
I need answers from her.
I’ll get them.
I’ll demand them.
Her grieving is the only thing holding me back from going in full throttle on her.
On my lunch break I decided to pick up a Happy Meal for Billy. Okay, I got one for myself, too.
Walking up to Lou’s trailer, music is blaring from next door. Bea comes out the door and bounces down the steps before she sees me.
“What the hell is that? NSYNC? Backstreet Boys?”
Bea smiles. “Some things never change, Collins, and that includes our playlist. Keep an eye on my girl? I won’t be back until tomorrow.”
“Where are you headed this fine afternoon?”
She smiles and her cheeks redden slightly. “Ask your brother.” She leaves me standing there confused, and slides in her SUV and takes off.
Bea and Campbell did always have a thing for each other back in the day. Did they run into each other recently? I make a mental note to text him later.
Billy and I eat our Happy Meals; he got the better toy and refused to trade. I’m a little bitter about it, but that seems to be on par with my emotions lately.
Heading back to the truck, it’s impossible to ignore the decades-old soundtrack blaring from Johnnie’s trailer. I know better than to go over there.
Just go back to work.
Knowing better and choosing to do better are two very different things. Which is why I’m climbing the steps to her place, pausing before knocking. Through the narrow window on the front door, I catch her bouncing around as she places something in one of the many boxes scattered around the living room. Barefoot, shorts so short they could be underwear, and a baggy T-shirt, complete with a messy bun on top of her head. It’smissing the white bow she used to always have tied there, which has me feeling some type of way.
Damn, I’ve missed her.
I decide to stop being a creep and knock, startling her, and I can’t help but laugh when she jumps. With a hand on her chest, she runs to the door and flings it open.
“My god, Collins, you scared the shit out of me.”
She backs up, wordlessly inviting me in, and I step over the threshold with a chuckle as she turns down the music on the old stereo system.
“Are you really listening to ’90s boy bands right now? What’s next, ‘MMMBop’?”
“Actually, that’s a very real possibility. Sue me for enjoying the same playlist I’ve had since 1990-something.” She shrugs her shoulders and blows a stray hair out of her eyes.
“What is all this?” With my hands on my hips, I look around at all the items and boxes, trying to make sense of what she has going on.
“Well, this pile over here is things I’ve taken pictures of to put on Marketplace and sell. Then, everything in boxes is what I’m going to pack up and take back home with me. I was thinking of getting a U-Haul, but I think I can manage everything in my rental. I’ll just drive back to Texas instead of flying.”
“Exactly how much are you planning on taking?”
“Probably just these five boxes. I’m almost done packing anything sentimental.”
Staring at the cardboard stuffed with Nan’s things, I just nod. “Don’t load any of this shit by yourself. I’ll be off at a decent time this evening. I can take care of all the lifting.”
That seems to catch her off guard, surprise etched in her features. She opens her mouth to say something, then thinks better of it and closes again.
“Just say it. What were you going to say?”