“Are you ready to go, Mama?” the nurse, Liz, quizzed, interrupting Aspen’s thoughts.
“Not without my babies.” Knowing she had to leave the hospital without Brooklyn and Mayvin brought tears to Aspen’s eyes. “This isn’t how I pictured their birth and taking them home. I thought everything would be okay, and we’d go home asa family. This isn’t fair. I know I’m partly to blame, but if my ex never would’ve put his hands on me, it wouldn’t be like this.”
Savannah and Greg taught Aspen that hate was a strong word and emotion to feel, but Aspen felt it running through her veins anytime Lance crossed her mind. The more she thought about what he did and how their relationship was, Aspen became angrier at herself for putting up with it all for so long. Now, the shield had been lifted from her eyes, and she realized what he’d given her over the years wasn’t love. Love was something she’d wasted on him.
Liz made her way over to Aspen and hugged her. Aspen accepted it, thankful for the comfort and warmth the nurse brought.
“Can I share something with you?” Liz asked Aspen and pulled away.
“Yes.”
“I went through the same thing with my oldest. He was a preemie, and I had to leave him every day for five months. It was awful, but every day, I reminded myself to focus on the positive. I made sure to thank God every day, multiple times a day, for allowing him to be alive and for his progress. It’s a lot easier said than done, but try that anytime you visit Brooklyn and Mayvin, or whenever you find yourself getting down about not having them with you. Trust me. God will show you He’s faithful through it all.”
Aspen dabbed at her eyes with the bottom of her shirt. “Thank you so much for that, Liz. It’s exactly what I needed. God gave them to me, to us. It could’ve been worse.”
“Exactly. I know your circumstances weren’t the best, but you received two of the biggest blessings from it.”
While the weight of leaving the girls still weighed on Aspen, Liz helped relieve some of the pressure holding Aspen down.
Just as Aspen finished packing her things, Mahari walked through the door. When he realized Aspen was up, he frowned, looking between her and Liz.
Pointing his finger at Aspen, he asked, “What is she doing up?”
“I was packing up, Mahari. I wanted to make sure I was ready for when you got here,” Aspen responded.
“And I told you I’d do it when I got here. All you had to do was sit your ass in that wheelchair and wait for me.”
Giggling, Liz said, “I guess that’s my cue to go get the wheelchair. Aspen, I think you better sit down until I come back.”
Liz left, leaving Aspen and Mahari alone. Aspen held her arms out as Mahari made his way over to her. She accepted his gentle embrace, kiss, and assistance sitting down. The C-section had Aspen in a lot of pain. Any little thing hurt her. Healing and getting the twins home was her biggest priority.
“You good, Bunny?” Mahari questioned, going around the room to make sure she had everything.
“I’m in some pain and a little sad, but I’m good. I am ready to sleep in my own bed.”
“I am too. That chair is uncomfortable as hell.”
Aspen giggled. Even though she insisted Mahari could go home during her stay, he refused. He slept on the hard hospital chair for the past two nights, getting up at random times to go see the twins. Anything Aspen wanted or needed, he did for her. The nurses bragged about how good of a man he was, and Aspen was proud to call him hers. To her, he really was the best.
Once Liz came back with the wheelchair, Mahari grabbed all her things, and they went to the NICU to see the twins before leaving. On the way home, Aspen couldn’t stop yawning. She was exhausted, physically and emotionally, and she couldn’t wait toclimb into her bed. Sleep would be her best friend while Brookie and May May had their extended stay at the hospital.
Mahari rested his hand on Aspen’s thigh and quizzed, “Are you still upset with me?”
“For the way you walked out on me without hearing me out? No, but I don’t ever want you to do that again. It truly hurt my feelings, Mahari.”
“And you don’t think you admitting you still missed my cousin didn’t hurt mine?”
“First, fuck him. Second, I can understand how it did, but you didn’t let me explain what I meant by that. You gotta think about how long Lance and I were together. Before all this, I thought I’d always have love for him but never love him to the capacity I love you. As you can see, getting closure wasn’t even worth it.”
Aspen wouldn’t admit it, but she’d dreamed of Lance jumping on her, and it always ended worse than it truly did. She wasn’t sure how long it would last, but she prayed it wasn’t long.
Sighing, Mahari switched his hands on the wheel and glanced at Aspen. “You didn’t know he’d spazz.”
“I know, but it doesn’t change the fact he did.” Aspen peered at the side of Mahari’s handsome face. “I apologize for hurting your feelings. It wasn’t my intentions. I assumed you’d understand.”
“I did understand, but that wasn’t what I wanted to hear, for real. Honestly, it felt like shit was ending between us before it ever started. I felt like I was finally living the dream, and it was being snatched away.”
At the stoplight, Mahari leaned over the armrest and passionately kissed Aspen. The couple was so engrossed in one another that the honking behind them was what brought them back to reality.