“I mean, things are definitely different with him.”
“How so?”
Sighing, I push myself off of the door and take a seat in the other chair near her desk. “I feel like he really sees me, Laney. Not that he’s acting interested because we’re faking our relationship, but he’s actually trying to understand who I am. He stood up for me in front of his parents, which you know is a big deal for me. And…he’s shown me a side of him in the past year that I know not everyone gets to see.” I stare down at my hands in my lap.
Laney reaches over and tips my chin up. “You love and protect people so hard, Dilynne Marie Clark. It’s one of the reasons you’re my best friend and I love you so much. But you deserve someone who does that for you too.”
I sigh. “And when he touches me, I feel like I can relax, and that never happens for me, Laney. Usually, I still need to feel in control, and I’m sure I don’t need to tell you why.”
“So you can’t get hurt,” she answers for me.
I nod. “And in some sick, twisted way, I love the way we banter. Talking with him is never boring. He wants to know about my life, my job, the things that are important to me. I—I don’t know if I ever felt that way with Vinnie because I was so blinded by everything else I thought was important back then.”
“Elliot isn’t the asshole you’ve always thought he is, Dilynne. Even I’ve tried to tell you that.”
“Yeah, well, if memory serves me correctly, I used to tell you the same thing about Fletcher before you finally had an honest conversation with him.”
Her chin dips in agreement. “True, but you know that means you’ll need to tell Elliot eventually why you wrote him off all those years ago too if this turns into something more, right?”
I stare into the eyes of my best friend. “And how the hell am I supposed to know if that’s what I want?”
“You don’t have to make up your mind about that this second. But perhaps you just keep an open mind and see how you feel over the next couple of weeks?”
I shake my head. “I just don’t understand how my feelings toward him can shift so quickly.”
“Because anger can mask a lot of feelings, especially the ones we never want to face.” Her hand rests on her small bump again as she smiles. “But I’m telling you, Dilynne, facing the truth was the best thing I’ve ever done in my life. I wouldn’t have Fletcher and this baby now if I hadn’t.”
“You know I don’t want a baby, Laney,” I say.
“I know, but that doesn’t mean you couldn’t have all of the other stuff, like a partner who respects you, encourages you, and appreciates you for the incredible woman that you are. I guess the question is, are you willing to risk your heart again to get it?”
My eyes start to well with tears. “I’m scared, Laney.”
“Good. Just don’t let your fear keep you from living your life.”
Chapter 25
Elliot
The Road to Somewhere Special
“You brought road trip snacks?” Dilynne turns to me for just a second before focusing her eyes back on the road.
I reach into the plastic bag and make quick work of pulling out a few necessities. “I sort of have this irrational fear of being stranded in the middle of nowhere without food.”
“That’s a very specific fear,” she says with a quirk of her lips.
“I wish it were the only one, but sadly, I have quite a few.”
We’ve been on the road for only thirty minutes, but I finally feel like my chest has started to loosen.
After Thursday night, Dilynne and I barely spoke yesterday. I wanted to give her some space, and part of me needed the same.
The night at her house was…intense. Part of me wonders if I should have put myself out there more, but I didn’t really get the reassurance I neededfrom her that this isn’t just about lust. And without that, I worry if developing something serious with her is a lost cause.
I can tell that her ex did a number on her. Hell, that’s one commonality that we share, despite our many differences.
But if there’s one thing the past few weeks have taught me, it’s that timing is everything. This fake engagement would never have worked years before. Dilynne and I aren’t the same people as we were back when we were younger, with good reason.