“Oh my god. What did you do then?” She leans forward, waiting for the next part of my story.
“We talked about music, books, and we have so much in common it’s ridiculous.”We do have a lot of things in common; sadly, one of them is the fact that none of us are interested in dating or romance. Even if I were to change my mind, it wouldn’t even matter, because he doesn’t want romance in his life.
“When are you going to see him again?” Rachel asks with excitement.”
I sigh and sink into the couch defeated. “I won’t. He doesn’t date.”
“Bullshit.” She shouts in a perfect imitation of our coworker, who dismisses everything by saying ‘bullshit’ in a theatrical way.
But as much as I wish for it to be true, I know it’s not. This man is emotionally unavailable, and if I know my own good, I will stay the fuck away.
Leo
I’m sitting on a stool at the customer’s side of the bar counter, looking at Kai, who is drinking whiskey at ten a.m; he is a mess. Dark circles under his eyes, and that look of despair he only gets once in a while when he’s fucked up royally. Which you can say this is one of those cases. His stupid games with Rachel landed him in the doghouse, and the woman is pissed. I don’t blame her. I would be, too, if the asshole had interrupted my date the way he did. Kai is a good man, most of the time; the rest, he is a selfish asshole. And yesterday he was definitely the latter. The bar isn’t even open, and none of us should be here at this time, but right now none of us wants to be at the house either. Once Melanie arrives, she’ll have a stroke at the sight of empty bottles and glasses, all because Kai decided to treat his business as his personal liquor store.
“Basically your unhinged jealous side took control, and you acted like a Neanderthal with a remote control sex toy in your possession.” I point out after hearing the story of how Kai fucked Rachel before her date and made her wear a vibrator to it, mostly to keep his cum inside her, which I wouldn’t say I don’t understand.I do.And then proceeded to make her come with said toy, while on a date with another man. That’s another level of stupidity if you ask me. I conveniently choose to not share my level of stupidity last night. Stalking Noah to that coffee shop was wrong. So wrong. But what’s worse is the fact I don’t regret it, not one bit. I should. I really should regret it, yet here I am, not regretting it in the slightest.
“Yup.” He gulps the glass of whiskey he just poured, and now he is filling another one. At this point, we won’t have any left for the customers.
“And now you are feeling guilty about it.” I point out again. It’s not a question. It doesn’t need to be. He is feeling awful, and with a good reason. I would worry more if he didn’t.
“Yup.” He gives me a thumbs up, then once again he gulps the rest of the liquid in his glass. Without losing a second, he pours another and pours it down his throat before he repeats the process. At this point, I don’t understand why you bother with the damn glass. Just drink from the bottle, man, it’s not like you won’t finish the bottle, or the three bottles next to it already lined up for their execution.
This is pathetic. I need to put an end to it. “Okay. That’s enough.” I announce as I pluck the bottle from his hand. I hop over the counter and land on my feet next to him. “Let’s go.” I say in a soft voice, one you would use for a small kid. “You are not allowed on this side of the bar today.” I tell him as I guide him to where I was sitting before. I grab the plastic cup with my smoothie and give it to him. “Drink this. It’s healthy. It’s good for you.” I say as I pull my phone from my back pocket and search for the delivery app. I pick our favorite coffee shop and start clicking on every item I think will help this guy sober up. Probably a failed attempt, since the moment I turn my back to him, Kai is pouring whiskey into the smoothie.
He takes a sip of the green smoothie he just ruined and makes a face of disgust. “ That’s disgusting.” He says. “What the hell is it?”
“It has spinach, kale, and banana. It’s healthy for you.”At least it’s supposed to be when you don’t pair it with whiskey.I press the button, and the order is sent. It won’t take more than twenty minutes to get here since this coffee shop has mostly everything ready to go when they open, and it’s not too far fromhere. I could go and pick it up, in fact, but I am not sure leaving this guy alone would be the best idea.
“Kai, what else happened?” I ask softly as I take the seat next to him. “I know guilt can eat you alive, and you are not proud of your actions, but this doesn’t sound like it’s enough for you to drink this way at ten a.m.”
“We had a fight when she returned, and I realized she might not actually want me around.” He reaches over the bar, grabs a bottle of vodka, and opens the plastic cup with the smoothie before he tops it up with the transparent liquid of death.Yes that will help it taste better, buddy. Good job.“Leo, what if I traumatized her?” He takes a long sip of the cocktail he created and hums a sound of approval, as if that’s the way to fix the drink he thought was awful a minute ago. “Now it’s actually decent.”
I try to pry away the cup, but he shields it like a newborn. “Fine.” I say and throw my hands up in the air, showing surrender. “ I am not touching your drink calm down, buddy.” I say with a low chuckle. “Kai, she is into it. We both know she is. For fuck’s sake, you guys met because she kidnapped you. She is a fucking lunatic, honestly, you might be perfect for each other. Besides, she was texting Noah during her date, half complaining, half being a satisfied mess, ready to beg for more. I saw the messages.” I let the last part slip even though I shouldn’t, and now Kai seems like he sobered up in an instant and looks at me with wide eyes.
“What do you mean you saw the messages?” He shouts loud enough that I am pretty sure Noah heard that from the salon he is currently in, working.
“I might have followed him to the coffee shop he went to yesterday.”I hate to admit it, but that’s exactly what I did.“I wanted coffee, and it’s a good spot to read a book.” I try to defend myself, as if I didn’t stalk the man to the damn coffee shop.
“Because you are the type to read your filthy books in public.” He teases.
“I am not. That’s correct.” I admit. I usually keep them to myself. Reading smut seems to be more of a woman’s thing, and not so much for a man who owns a sports bar. Looking at me, you would most likely think I am into sports, not reading spicy books. What can I say? I like to be a mystery. Not that many people know about my favorite hobby. Most people frown when I mention my reading list. So, I choose not to mention that I like to read to anyone. Except Kai.... and now Noah. Well, If I am being honest, I didn’t even tell Kai. He found my Kindle and all the spice hidden inside it. He hasn’t stopped teasing me about it since.
“Translation, you didn’t go there to read but to stalk Noah.” Kai’s grin is so wide that he looks like the Joker. Both creepy and kind of a good look for him.
“Pretty much, but he didn’t seem to mind that much even though I am pretty sure he caught on the fact I was there to stalk him really fast.” Noah seemed to be more relaxed and open yesterday than anytime we had met before, but still he had that look in his eyes that totally says ‘I know you are full of bullshit’. “It turned into this weird kind of date really quick, with us talking about our favorite books, because apparently he reads the same books.” I will admit, it was kind of nice. The type of nice that makes you want more.
Kai takes another long sip of the green smoothie that I am pretty sure could kill someone with the added alcohol. That can’t be good for you. “ So basically, I messed up my chances with Rachel by being a dominant asshole with jealousy issues, while you scored a date.”
“Pretty much.” I say with a grin on my face, all proud of my achievement. Which should be a little concerning. I’m pretty sure stalkers shouldn’t feel proud of themselves for how welltheir stalking worked. I should book another therapy session and drag the alcoholic asshole with me. He would benefit from a talk with my therapist. If they don’t lock him up in a padded room with a white jacket tied to his back, that is.
A sound coming from the door makes us both turn. I am prepared to see the delivery guy, but instead a blond woman with a huge suitcase next to her and a clearly exhausted expression on her face knocks at our glass door.
“Is that Nadia?” I ask, blinking to make sure I am not imagining my ex. Kai abandons his seat with excitement and rushes to open the door for her. He takes her in his arms and spins her around. “Nadi-Boo! What are you doing here?” He shouts at the woman because Nadia is also Kai’s sister. This is the worst time for her to arrive. Kai’s little sister being here usually means my brain will go into that dark place it goes when I am reminded of our break-up. The words she said to me before we parted ways. I usually can control it. I can even be happy she is here, but right now? With the added guilt of stalking Noah, I am not sure I will be able to handle her presence.
“Put me down, Kai.” She responds with annoyance in her voice before she adds, “I came by the house, where you were supposed to be waiting for me since you knew I am visiting this week.” She reminds him. Kai, of course, failed to mention she would visit. I would have made sure I was busy for the majority of the week if he had. I am almost certain he does this on purpose, forcing me around his sister in hopes I will deal with my issues. That won’t happen. I tried. I talked it out in therapy and did the work, all the steps. Guilt seems to have taken root inside me and rules over me in certain subjects, Nadia being one of them.
“Did you know she was visiting?” I question because this was never mentioned once in the past month, and I would have noticed if Kai was preparing for his sister’s arrival even if hedidn’t mention. It’s not like I don’t like her. I like the woman, and I usually keep a good relationship with my exes not like Kai, but Nadia is the one who got away and if I wasn’t so much of a dickhead I would probably chase after her and made it right years ago. I didn’t though, and right now I will admit it might be the first time I see her that emotions don’t surface and I am actually quite happy she is here, but as much as I am happy right now I know for a fact memories will surface soon enough. My happiness will blend with the guilt connected to that messy breakup. The one I can never see past.