When Denni died, Calder had assumed that was it for him and love. But being near Zinn, feeling his heart opening again, had him re-thinking the views he’d always held. Sometimes love surprised you. It was impossible to predict.
“I like Kino’s twin brother, Garin,” Ked said. “He plays on the varsity soccer team. And his brother Zane just started coming to drama club.”
“All Kino’s brothers are different, same as us,” Jordie said. “But they’re close, just like we are.” He yanked Ked’s head into his lap and gave him a noogie.
Calder smiled. He’d raised some good kids. Kids who were almost grown.
Was he really hoping to start all over again?
The possibility of impregnating Zinn was the one thing he hadn’t discussed with his boys. And luckily, they hadn’t asked. He wasn’t sure how they’d react to it, so he figured he didn’t need to introduce the conversation unless it happened.
Watching his sons playfight, he imagined another child, one with Zinn’s cheek mole and Calder’s jawline. He thought about Zinn’s dyed hair. Sometimes the roots peeked out. He pictured those chestnut-gold strands on the little boy.
For a long time, Calder had felt like a huge part of him died alongside his husband. The possibility of rebuilding a full life had seemed remote when all his energy went into simply getting from one day to the next, keeping the bakery afloat and raising two kids.
But Zinn had brought light back into his existence. The chance for healing. Calder wasn’t even forty. He could have a new act.
While he’d mostly framed this experience as him doing Zinn a favor, Zinn was helping him just as much by accepting his offer. He still had a lot of life left to live. And he loved being a father.
Just as he’d loved being a husband.
And a lover.
If he did this right, Calder could prove to Zinn that it was okay to let his guard down. He couldn’t force Zinn to change his mind, but he could try to demonstrate that he was worth taking a chance on.
He raised his eyes to the ceiling and said some silent words to Denni.
I’ve grieved you for a long time, my love. But I believe you’d want me to be happy. Maybe it was you who sent that frightened, fierce omega into Felton’s so long ago. Maybe you knew what he needed. What I needed.
“Papa, does Zinn know when his heat will come?” Ked asked.
“He thinks in the next few days.”
“Has he been here?”
“No. I told him he could move in early and get situated, but he wanted to stay at home as long as possible.”
“Why didn’t Zinn want you to come to his apartment to do this?” Jordie asked. “One of Kino’s omega dads, Sorcha, still has heats. Kino said he stays home for them.”
“This house is neutral,” Calder answered with his best guess. “Since he was originally going to contract with a service and use a heat hotel, I think Zinn’s more comfortable keeping it separate from the rest of his life.”
Jordie lifted his shoulder. “Whatever makes it easier. Like I said, I’m just glad you’re doing this for him. And even though we don’t want to hear about the specifics—”
“Absolutely no specifics.” Ked made an X with his forearms.
Jordie tittered. “We don’t need details, but I get why you wanted us to see this place, and why you thought this whole thing might be weird for us. But it’s not weird that you want to help Zinn. He deserves better than some rando.”
“Yeah,” Ked said. “He deserves the best.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Zinn
The twinge in Zinn’s back sharpened as he paced the living room in the small house, his breaths short and labored. It was almost time.Thank the stars!The early signs had gone on forever, reminding him just how badly the suppressants had messed with his body.
The last straw came this morning at Felton’s.
Zinn had been working in the kitchen for the past few days, as he’d become rather fragrant. Lolo and Calder were busy helping a delivery driver with a broken-down truck in the alley. When three alphas came in and took a seat at a table, Zinn figured he’d be fine to quickly grab their orders.