“Coming right up.” Lolo stuck his pen behind his ear and disappeared behind the high counter.
“I really like the vibe here,” Assa said. “Nice that we could get away for an afternoon date.”
“For sure.” Wes soaked in the friendly atmosphere, and an idea formed. “Hey, you know what we should do?”
“What?”
“We should order Ryde’s birthday cake here. They do weddings, so they probably do specialty cakes as well.”
Assa’s eyes sparkled. “You don’t think it’d be too expensive?”
“Probably. But you only turn eight once.” Wes thought of their golden-haired son who seemed to outgrow his shoes every few weeks. It was all going by so fast.
“I bet they could do something really unique for him.”
“Uh-huh. Ryde would love it too.”
“He’s so nervous about having a big party with everyone in his class.” Assa’s leg bounced beneath the table.
Wes placed his hand over his husband’s. “Nervous, a little, but mostly excited. He told me so this morning.”
“That’s good,” Assa said. “Still, an impressive cake can’t hurt.”
Wes stroked his thumb over the ridge of Assa’s knuckles. “He’d be alright, even with a regular cake.”
Assa caught his lower lip between his teeth. “I know I worry too much… I can’t help it.”
“It’s natural to worry,” Wes said gently. “But Ryde is fine. This move to Bellwether Province has been good for him. He’s made friends. And remember, he was the one who asked to have this party.”
Dropping his chin, Assa sighed. “My rational mind knows you’re right, but I can’t help remembering how it was for me. All those birthdays when I didn’t have a party because no one would have come.”
“It’s terrible how your alpha father treated you.” Wes squeezed Assa’s fingers. “But you see that Ryde is happy. And you’re nothing like Jeral. On his best day, he wasn’t half the man you are. That’s why our son is the kindest, most thoughtful kid on the planet. And he’s doing great.”
“He is pretty incredible. And I know I’m doing better thanhim.” Assa smiled. “I hope it’s not annoying that you have to remind me.”
“Sweetheart, I will never get tired of telling you how great Ryde is. And what an amazing man you are. Gives me a chance tobrag about my two favorite people.” Wes winked, breaking some of the tension.
Although Assa was much more confident than when they’d met, Wes hated that he still worried at all.
It didn’t help that Assa never got any real closure with Jeral before the cranky old alpha died six years ago. Wes believed part of the reason Assa had cared for his father was because he’d harbored the hope that Jeral would try to atone for the hurt he’d caused. But although Jeral mellowed with age, he never apologized. Then he went to sleep one night and didn’t wake up, leaving unresolved questions for Assa.
Wes exhaled lengthily. Lately, he’d noticed that Assa seemed sadder. It was subtle, but Wes didn’t want to miss any signs that Assa might need something from him.
Wes recalled how it had been when they met in college. Assa had already been in therapy for a while and had worked through the worst of his insecurities. Still, he’d made a habit of not taking up space, shrinking into himself in group settings. That hadn’t stopped Wes from noticing the intelligent answers he gave in class, or the consideration he never failed to show for other people’s thoughts. Wes invited Assa for a study date and discovered the man beneath the surface—funny and creative, with more love to give than anyone he’d ever met.
As study dates turned into nights out and eventually sleepovers, Wes gave Assa a place to put all that love. And Wes accepted it and treated it like the gift it was.
A year later, Wes had his own self-awakening. Based on his fantasies about Assa, along with thoughts he’d harbored his whole life, he realized monogamy wasn’t entirely natural to him. He was committed to exclusivity if that’s what Assa wanted, but Assa was very open to the idea of polyamory, admitting he’d also been thinking about it.
“Being with you has shown me that I have so much love in my heart,” he’d said. “And expressing physical affection for someone lights me up like nothing else.”
“I’m aware,” Wes replied, his smile wide. “I’ve seen it firsthand.”
Assa’s cheeks reddened as he added, “But it’s only a vague idea right now, and in my mind it’s just about sex. I don’t know if I could ever love someone else the way I love you. Or if I’d even want to.”
They had explored consensual non-monogamy as a couple, agreeing that all their activities would be together—no having sex with others one-on-one—but they didn’t make specific rules about how many times they could be with the same person, what genders their partners should be, or the number of men they could play with at once.
For Wes, it was simply how he was wired. Watching Assa with other men turned him on more than anything.