Charlie whistled. “You’re up to your eyeballs in shit, little brother.”
I sighed. “I know. It’s a huge mess. I don’t know where to start to fix it. I don’t even know if Icanfix it. I don’t know where to start.”
“Have you talked to Judd?”
“No. He’s pissed. Still got the lawyers finding ways to screw with the locals.”
“You know you have more money and power,” Charlie said. “You know I’m not about flaunting the family wealth, but sometimes it’s necessary.”
“I know. Cody is on the same page. He’s going to stay in Surfside with me a while longer to see if we can get this figured out.”
“Do you need me to stay?” he asked. “I can call Mason and Wyatt. You know they’re always up for a good time.”
I smiled. All of us together would be a force to be reckoned with. Judd Mathers wouldn’t even know what hit him if we gathered our forces together.
“Thanks, but I think we’ve got this,” I said. “If it looks like things are going bad, I’ll definitely give you a call.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah. You’ve got a family that needs you. Olivia would murder me if I took her partner away from her and she had to play single mom.”
Charlie chuckled. “Fair point.”
Mom called everyone to the table. Cody was already pulling out a chair. Olivia came in with the kids. Mom had gone all out with the enchiladas. She made fresh guacamole and the Spanish rice that was always perfectly cooked.
The enchiladas were perfect. She made her own sauce. There was something about your mother’s food that made everything better. The apocalypse could be happening and a homecooked meal would make it all okay. I loaded my plate, slapping on some guac to cut through the spice.
“The weather tomorrow is supposed to be beautiful,” Mom said, unfolding her napkin. “I was thinking we could take the kids down to the beach in the morning. Pack a lunch. Make a day of it.”
“The kids would love that,” Olivia said. She looked across the table at Charlie and something passed between them. One of those silent conversations married people had that nobody else could follow.
“I’ll make sandwiches,” Mom announced. “And those little lemon cookies the kids like.”
“Can we look for crabs?” one of the kids asked.
“You can look,” Olivia said. “No bringing them home.”
I ate and listened and let the noise of it wash over me. This was what I’d needed without knowing I’d needed it. Not a solution to anything. Just my family and knowing they were there if I needed them.
Cody caught my eye across the table and raised his beer slightly. I raised mine back. I suspected he’d called Dad. Let him know things weren’t great. Mom would pretend it was totally random that they showed up. I knew better.
After dinner, Charlie leaned over to Olivia and said something quiet. She nodded and pushed back her chair. He did the same. They gathered the kids, said goodnight, and headed upstairs.
Mom was cleaning up, refusing to let us help. Dad, Cody, and I sat in the living room. I could hear the chaos upstairs. The kids were wild, but it wasn’t their fault. Charlie was getting them fired up. It sounded like a herd of elephants with Charlie chasing them. From what I could hear, it was a full-on tickle-fest. I could hear Olivia’s laughter.
I sat there listening to them and mulled over my own life. There were some odd feelings happening. It wasn’t sadness exactly. It wasn’t longing. It was more like want. Not want like I wanted sex with Summer. Want as in wanting air. Wanting to run on the beach.
Another burst of laughter from upstairs. A thump that was probably someone falling off a bed. More laughter. Charlie had a beautiful family. A woman who looked at him like he hung the moon.
The laughter upstairs went quiet. It was like they all ran out of gas and just collapsed. I picked up my beer and took a long drink.
Did I want that?
I was thirty-four years old and I had never once contemplated that for me. When Charlie got married, it worked.I was happy for him. But I never imagined I would want that. Kids screaming when I walked through the door after a long day. Kids jumping on the bed and waking me up too early on a Sunday morning.
I thought about Summer. I couldn’t help it. She was the only person I could ever imagine having children with. And that was odd because we weren’t even talking. We were a long way from kids.
I thought about those stick figures on the back of Becca’s SUV. Would Summer drive something like that? She’d be a hot soccer mom. Except she would want a truck to put all the surfboards in.