“Okay what?”
“Why are you drinking lemon water when there’s a full pot of coffee two feet away?”
“I’m dehydrated,” I said. “I’ll have coffee later.”
From the living room came the sounds of the television, and the low bickering of River and Ocean debating something filled the air. That was the sound I’d been looking for. That was the sound that said all was right with the world.
I grabbed a banana to go with my lemon water. I wasn’t a health nut like Colt, but some days I did feel a little dehydrated. I spent a lot of time in the sun and yesterday had been stressful.
“Come outside,” Becca said.
It wasn’t really a suggestion. It was code for we needed to talk without little ears eavesdropping. I followed her out to the patio with my water glass. She dropped into the chair nearest the railing. The morning air was cool still, but it would be hot soon. I sat down in the chair beside her and stared at the water.
“Talk,” she said. “Yesterday was wild and we didn’t get a chance to talk last night. How are you?”
“I’m fine.”
“Summer, I know you.”
“I had a dream,” I said. “It was nothing. I just woke up a little rattled.”
She waited.
I looked sideways at her. “About Colt.”
She laughed. “A dream, huh?”
“The kind of dream that sticks with you.”
“Oh, I bet.” She winked. “I’m divorced, not dead. I have dreams.”
“I can’t get it out of my head and I hate it. I hate that he’s been back for five minutes and I’m already losing my mind. It’s like four years didn’t pass.”
“You’re not losing your mind. You’re human. Sorry to break it to you but being human means falling in love.”
I groaned. “I’m in so much trouble.”
“You’ve been in trouble since the night he jogged past the bonfire.”
I couldn’t argue with that. I’d been in trouble long before that. I’d been in trouble for seven years, if I was being honest. It didn’t matter if I dated great guys. I went out with Bodhi, and as much as I tried to fake it with him, it never worked. There was never going to be anyone that could make me forget Colt.
“I can’t do it again,” I said. “I can’t go through that again. You weren’t here for the worst of it. You were dealing with your own stuff that year and I didn’t want to pile on. But it was bad, Becca. It took me a long time to get right after he left.”
She was quiet. “I know it was hard,” she said gently. “You didn’t say it, but I saw you going through it. I wanted to help, but like you said, I was kind of caught up with having babies and dealing with an asshole husband. But I know what it’s like to know what’s right for you and being unable to choose the right thing.”
“So you understand why I need to stay away from him,” I said.
She sipped her coffee. “I understand why you think you need to.”
“Becca, I need to stay away from him. You have to tell me to avoid him.”
“I’m just going to say one thing,” she said. “And then I’ll drop it. I promise.”
“That is never true but go ahead.”
She smiled. “There were almost two thousand people at that protest yesterday,” she said. “He was being hit with eggs and tomatoes and he didn’t flinch. He was watching you. You are the only one he was interested in seeing.”
I shook my head. The thought of me with Colt terrified me. I had to stay away from Colt Anderson if I wanted to get through summer with my heart in one piece. He would destroy me. Surviving it once was hard enough.