Then the implications hit me like a freight train.I cover my face with my hands and force air in and out of my lungs.
“You swapped my birth control pills.When?”I ask into my hands.
“At the beginning of this month,” he says.
I shake my head.
He pries my knees apart and wedges his big, hard body between them.His ribs shift against my thighs from his labored breaths.
“I’m sorry, Karey.I was wrong.I shouldn’t have messed with your medication for any reason, much less for something so selfish,” he implores.
A half-scoff half-sob breaks from my chest.
“You didn’t cause this, Declan.I haven’t had my period in months even on the pills.This was overdue,” I manage.
He wraps thick fingers around my wrists but doesn’t pull my hands away from my face.
“I don’t care if it was my fault or not.I shouldn’t have done it.Please forgive me,” he grovels.
“Did you swap them because you wanted to get me pregnant?”
His pause tells me I’m right.A sob wrenches from my chest.
“Karey, what’s wrong?”he asks.
I shake my head.
He tugs my wrists.I shake my head harder.
“Whatever it is, I don’t care, cupcake.Just tell me so we can figure it out together,” he begs.
I drop my hands and reveal to him the sorrow in my soul.
“I can’t give you babies.I mean, I physically could, but getting pregnant is highly unlikely, and I’d be high risk from the very beginning.I don’t want to get my hopes up only to have half a dozen miscarriages and no baby, and expecting you to go through that is too cruel.I can’t—”
He wraps his arms around me and buries his face between my breasts.
“Then we won’t have kids,” he mumbles into my bosom.
“Declan,” I accuse.
“Fine.We’ll adopt,” he snarls and mouths my sensitive flesh through my top.
“You can’t just change your entire outlook on life because of one—”
“Yes I can.I just did.Nothing is more important than keeping you by my side,” he growls.
My insides melt, but that just grosses me out since I’m still bleeding heavily.I scoff and tug his hair.
He groans and nips the underside of my breast.I gasp and squeeze his ribs with my thighs.
“That’s it?No questions?No explanations?”I pour my skepticism into my voice.
“We have our entire lives to hash out what happened when we were apart.For now, I just want to know how I can help you feel better,” he mumbles with his face still buried in my breasts.
“Honestly, I feel gross and don’t want to be turned on right now,” I admit.
He leans back with unrepentant, sorrowful eyes and sighs.