“Can I ask you what happened?” He looked down briefly, like he was unsure he should ask. “She didn’t die, did she?”
I swallowed. Then, after taking a deep breath, I said, “No, she didn’t die.”
“That’s good,” he said, sighing with relief.
I nodded. “So, basically, the fallout happened the summer after seventh grade. She and I had been in contact for several months leading up to it. We didn’t see each other much in person since she lived in New Jersey with another one of her boyfriends. But I was having a hard time with my parents—just butting heads, and I guess kind of having typical teenage-rebellious stuff.”
“But I thought you said that forbidden sleepover without parental supervision was your only teenage rebellion?” he asked, a half-smile quirking up on his lips.
“Yeah. I guess I try not to think too much about that time in my life.”
“Oh,” he said, his expression sobering immediately. “Sorry.”
“No, it’s fine…” I let out a long breath. “Anyway, during the time I was fighting a lot with my parents, I started emailing Becca. Just venting a lot about everything since she always seemed to understand me—plus, she’d grown up with them, too, and had her own issues with them at my age—so I liked having someone to commiserate with.”
“It’s always good to have someone to talk to,” Theo said.
“Yeah.” I nodded, my throat still tight. Then I forced myself to keep going, because if I stopped now, I might not be able to start again.
“Anyway… Becca and I had been emailing for months. And when summer break came around, we came up with this plan.” I hesitated, then added, “I’d just hit my head on the balance beam, so I was supposed to be taking it easy for a while. Which meant I had all this extra time and nowhere to put my energy.”
Theo’s hand stayed steady in mine, but I could feel him listening harder.
“Becca told me she’d come pick me up one day when our parents were out of the house. And we’d go to a water park. Just a day of fun.” I let out a soft breath. “And that’s exactly what happened.”
I stared at the waves for a second, remembering how easy it all had felt in the beginning. “When my parents were at a wedding in Boston, Becca and her boyfriend drove up from New Jersey and took me. It was actually a great day. I had fun. I laughed. I remember thinking, maybe this is it. Maybe this is the start of us having a real relationship. Like she was a second mom to me again.”
Theo gave my hand a little squeeze of encouragement.
I swallowed. “And then, when it was time to take me home, she suggested we keep the summer fun going.” My voice dipped. “She said, ‘Why don’t you come stay with me for a week?’”
I glanced down at the sand as we walked.
“I hesitated a little,” I admitted. “Because I hadn’t really spent much time alone with her before. But my parents hadjust taken my phone and grounded me for two weeks, and I was mad at them. So with Becca offering an escape and acting like she wanted me…” I shrugged. “It just sounded like a fun time.”
“Did she just take you?” Theo asked. “Without contacting your parents?”
“No, she actually said she’d call my parents herself to make sure it was okay with them. And when she got back from making the call, she had a huge smile on her face and told me they’d said yes—that they thought it would be good bonding time for us.”
And I was an idiot to believe her.
I stared out at the horizon where the water met the sky, my stomach twisting. “Anyway, we stayed in a cheap hotel that night. Then we drove to her apartment the next morning.” I let out a short, humorless breath. “At first, I was weirdly excited. She’d promised all these fun things. Like it was going to be this big healing couple of weeks where we finally got our relationship back.”
I stared out at the dark stretch of sand ahead of us for a second before continuing. “But it didn’t take long to realize nothing had changed. She was still doing drugs. And her boyfriend was…” I swallowed. “He was scary.”
Theo slowed beside me, his attention sharpening.
“It took one day,” I admitted quietly, “for me to wish I could go home.”
I drew in a breath, trying to steady the rush of memories.
“But I couldn’t.” I shook my head. “My parents had my phone. I didn’t have money. And when I told Becca I wanted to leave, she said they’d spent all their extra cash getting me there, so taking me back wasn’t possible.”
Theo’s fingers tightened around mine.
“I asked to call my parents,” I went on. “She told me shedidn’t have a phone. She said I could wait for her boyfriend to get home from work and use his.”
My stomach turned as I said it, even now.