Not because I didn’t understand what he was trying to say… but because I hated that he thought that was what I was doing.
That he assumed I was already halfway to tossing my goals in the trash because a hot corporate lawyer with green eyes and a hypnotizing smile had finally kissed me.
Because in reality, I was just taking life as it came at me. Figuring it out one step at a time.
I mean, it wasn’t like I could control the fact that all my post-graduation plans had fallen through and no one else had wanted to hire me in my field yet.
I couldn’t control the job market.
But also, it had been literally two months since I graduated.
Two months.
Just because I was enjoying a weekend with the guy I’d had a crush on all year, it didn’t mean I was suddenly giving up on every dream I’d ever had for myself.
Though, sure, if I was honest, the thing Ky was insinuating that I might be fantasizing about doing—marrying Theo, staying home, taking care of Charlotte and maybe having more babies… Well, it didn’t exactly sound horrible.
In fact, it actually sounded kind of amazing.
Like the kind of life the younger version of me had always dreamed of when I’d played house in the backyard with my friends.
Was it really all that bad to want something like that?
Yes, I knew that it was important to have a way to support myself if the crap hit the fan. I’d heard of women getting trapped in bad situations because they had put all of their eggs in a man’s basket.
But… I was also resourceful and resilient. I could figure things out if I needed to.
If any of that even became a reality.
I shook my head, realizing I was jumping about a thousand steps ahead of myself.
I’d literally just had my first kiss with Theo two days ago.
I was still so far from knowing if any of the scenarios I was thinking about could even be a possibility.
Ky must have seen something on my face because he put a hand on my knee, and in a careful, caring tone, he added, “Theo’s a great guy. Obviously, I know that. And if things work out between you two and you decide to be a stay-at-home mom like Mom was for us, then I’ll be happy for you. Really.” He paused, rubbing his other hand over the back of his neck. “But… you and Theo are in really different stages of life. And he has his daughter to think about. I just don’t want you getting anyone’s hopes up if you don’t actually think you’d be happy as an instant mom.”
My stomach dipped.
Because there it was.
The real concern.
The reminder that unlike all the relationships I’d had before, I was playing with something bigger this time.
Something that involved a wonderful little girl who already loved me. And a man who had already lost too much.
I stared at the glassy pool water for a second, the surface shimmering like it had no idea my entire brain had just turned into a storm.
“I’m not trying to get anyone’s hopes up,” I said quietly. “I really don’t want to hurt anyone.”
“I know.” Ky’s gaze stayed on me, steady and protective. “I just want you to think, that’s all.”
And even though I wanted to roll my eyes and tell him I’d done nothingbutthink about Theo and Charlotte lately, I didn’t.
Instead, I just sat there, gripping my water bottle a little tighter.
Because the truth was, ever since I’d gotten that first glimmer of hope that something real might actually be possible, I’d been trying not to look too far down the road.