“I could not understand why my father acted that way. Worse, I could not understand why he was happy to court scandal just so that my mother would be left alone. I saw him as weak and pathetic… I… I hated him. And I promised that when I came of age, that I would never be what he was. Ever,” he added with a determined growl.
“A success then,” Ophelia said, but with lightness.
He scoffed. “I thought so. I was not happy, but I was not spoken about either. And for so long, I believed that avoiding scandals and rumors was the only way to live. I became obsessed with the idea. And then you…” He looked up, saw her smiling, and looked away again. “I told myself that it was a scandal I was trying to avoid. I truly believed that if such things could be avoided, then nothing else would matter. Only…” He shook his head, his words catching in his throat.
“Say it, Adrian,” she pressed softly. “Say it.”
She knew where this was going. And that, as much as anything, told Adrian that he had nothing to worry about. Despite all that he had done, how hard he had pushed, Ophelia had not left him. He was not alone, and for once, he was willing to concede that this was not such a bad thing.
“It was not the scandals that I feared…” Slowly, he looked up. And that time, he did not look away. He held her eyes in the darkness, using her to give him strength. “What I feared was becoming like my father. To become obsessed… dependent on someone else… to put myself in a position where I might one day know the pain that he felt. That terrified me and that…” He choked on his words. “That is why I pushed you away.”
“You think I might leave you?”
“I think you know that you should,” he said. “Since the moment I met you, Ophelia, I knew that you were too good for me. Youhave always been that. Just as I know that if I allow myself to feel anything for you, that one day you will realize this and then you will…” His chin started to wobble. “You will leave as my mother did, and I will be left a pitiful wreck of a man. Worse, I will spend the rest of my life hoping that you might return.”
“Adrian…” She squeezed his hand. “That you even think I would ever…”
“I do not think it is something you would do on purpose,” he assured her. “But after what I saw my father go through. He was so certain of how he felt, that his marriage would be forever. And even when my mother left him, he could not understand…” He grimaced. “Love is not forever, Ophelia. Even if we think it is, it cannot be.”
“Love?” Ophelia asked, her voice cracking. “Are you saying…”
His eyes widened, and Adrian very nearly yanked his hand back. Then he very nearly dismissed his comment, assuring her that he did not feel that way. Only…
It was the look that Ophelia held him in that stopped him. As it did, he cast his mind back to these past few weeks. He thought of all the times she had fought for him, how patient she had been, and how willing she was to fight for him
As he was willing to fight for her. When he saw Lord Hallbridge tonight, and when he had seen what the man was doing, he could have killed him. He did not care what others thought. It did notmatter what might be said. For Ophelia, he would have ruined his life, so long as she was safe…
“I cannot help but think about what Lord Delacourt said,” Adrian began as his heart thumped against his ribcage. “How hard he fought… how he knew that it was worth it. He never doubted that it was, because he knew that Lady Delacourt was one worth fighting for. In you, Ophelia, I…” His voice cracked, but he steeled his resolve. “I want to fight for you. I want to be that man who will do whatever it takes. I thought being alone would make me happy, but it has not. In fact, the only time I have ever truly felt happy was when I was with you.”
Ophelia smiled, and her eyes glimmered in the darkness. “As you fought for me tonight?”
“As I will do again and again. But only if… I must know…” He continued to look at her. “Do you want me to fight for you, Ophelia? Say the word and I will.”
“Fight for me?” She shook her head. “Adrian, you do not have to fight for me. Not when you already have me.”
“I do?”
She laughed. “You should not. And all week, I have told myself as much. But there is just something about you…” She shook her head. “As you want to fight for me, I have fought for you. And if that does not tell you how I feel, I do not know what else will.”
Adrian’s heart roared to life, and he shuffled closer. “Are you saying that…”
“I am.”
With that, the tension that sat inside the carriage and the fear that Adrian felt faded as if it had never been. He sat a little taller. He breathed a little easier. And he kept holding Ophelia’s hands as he looked at her across the carriage.
“I love you, Ophelia,” he said. “And my only regret is that it took this long to realize.”
“Better now than never,” she said with a smile that was so bright it seemed to light the carriage.
With those words said, there was but one thing left for them to do. Once, it might have had Adrian fidgeting with nerves. Once, he might have resisted, still unsure of what to do or if it was the right thing. But such fears were behind him, and in this instance, he found that he could no longer wait.
It was lucky then that Ophelia looked at him in a way that told him without question that she had the same thought.
With that decision made, Adrian leaned forward as he pulled Ophelia toward him. She came willingly, tilting her head, pursing her lips, and holding her breath with anticipation. It was dark in that carriage. Cramped. Little room to do anything,save lean into one another. A good thing that this is all that was required.
Adrian’s lips found Ophelia’s in the darkness. They touched, accepted the other, and their kiss turned from a light peck into something deep and passionate. It was not wild and hungry. It was not savage or untamed. Rather, it was purposeful.
It was a kiss that Adrian felt in his heart, and one that confirmed what he already knew to be the truth. For so long, he had been alone. For so long, he had given up happiness so that he might never feel pain or sadness. But with that single kiss, if Ophelia woke up tomorrow and left him, it would make it all worth it. Never before had Adrian felt so complete, and never again would he deny what he wanted more than anything.