Chapter fourteen
Kaden
Ishouldn’tbethinkingofIvan’s deal. Just knowing how upset my sister would be with me when she finds out I killed a man is enough to send me into cardiac arrest.
But she wouldn’t understand.
She doesn’t know what it’s like to think about death day and night, as if it’s embedded into the very fibers of my being. It’s an unrelenting itch that’s festered and spread with every passing day. It’s only a matter of time until I get desperate and seek out my own victim. At least with my friend’s deal, I’ll be promised immunity. Serve my isolation time and be back before anyone really notices I’ve been gone. I could play it off as a self-discovery trip.
Melody will be upset. We haven’t been apart since we first met over six years ago. And truthfully, she’s the only thing holding me back from making my choice. Letting her go is something I can’t do. No matter how hard I try.
Saint tips his flask in my direction, the silver glint catching my eye as he offers to top off my drink. I shove the glass towards him, putting my thoughts on the back burner as the party in full swing drowns out everything else. Dad is celebrating his company’s fifteenth anniversary with a gala tonight. There’s gentle swelling music and faces I’ve never seen before gliding across the dance floor. Evening gowns of deep red and emerald green twirl in the night, and the dim lighting casts shadows all over.
It’s just as over the top and eccentric as every party is. To lighten the mood, I invited my friends as my guests. They’ve been lingering around me like shadows as I sulk in the corner of the ballroom.
Melody is glowing tonight as she ripples through the crowd with a bright smile. Her evening gown is a light blue with sequins and sheer sleeves. She smiles radiantly as sheconverses with Dad’s business partners, and he presents her like a rare gem. He’s proud of her accomplishments.
At least he’s pleased with one of us. Unlike me, who now has a growing record and can’t seem to hold up my grades in school. I’m graduating in two months and have no idea if I’ll even get to walk on stage to get my diploma. Our principal doesn’t seem to think I should have the same opportunity as my classmates, considering the day I beat the brakes off of Jack. He’s unfortunately alive, but now he knows better than to sniff around my sister.
Everyone at school does. I won’t be there next year to watch over Melody. She’ll be on her own, and I’m expected to go to college. That’s not going to happen, but I can bide my time by playing it off as indecision about where I want to go. That will allow me to stick close to home.
“Are you just going to stare at her all night?” Ivan asks, taking a sip of his whiskey.
I shrug. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Please!” Saint rolls his eyes. “You can’t even hide it anymore! You’re shameless.”
That isn’t completely true. I am ashamed of myself. I’m sick—completely fucked in the head. Because I can’t stop thinking of my little sister in ways I shouldn’t. While Melody cares for me, it’s in a sisterly way. But I don’t want her to just be my sister…
“If you’re going to go through with our deal, why not live a little?” Ivan suggests, tipping his glass towards me. “You aren’t blood related.”
My jaw ticks as I watch Melody spin around, showing her friend Kodi her beautiful gown. “She only sees me as her big brother.”
“As she should,” Saint says pointedly. “Sorry, maybe it’s because I have sisters of my own and I find it weird.”
“Good thing no one asked you,” I snip.
He chuckles. “Fuck it, man. Do whatever you want. I can’t judge. I’ve done far worse.”
Ivan does have a point. I’ve really been considering his deal, and if I’m going down, why not go out with a bang? It’s better than leaving things unsaid and tattered in the end. Melody may not forgive me once I get back, but that’s a cross I’m willing to bear if it means showing her how I feel. The sick and twisted part of myself lives in the fantasy that she’ll wait for me on the other side.
But I know it’s only a dream. She’s entirely too good for someone like me. I should want her to meet someone who doesn’t have blood on his hands, but the thought of her with anyone else makes me violent.
“Don’t look now, but Vincent Halloway just asked Melody to dance,” Ivan mutters.
My head shoots up, and my eyes pinpoint my sister the moment she steps onto the dance floor. She’s hand-in-hand with the luxury automotive heir, and he smiles cockily as he wraps an arm around her waist. Something gentle and sweet swells from the orchestra, violins humming a high note as everyone watches the two teenagers flow across the polished marble.
But it’s all background noise. My heart and vision slow as my mind rushes. My pulse pounds in my ears as something nasty and green claws at my gut. I’m staring at Vincent’s hand wrapped around Melody’s waist, and the way his fingers dig into her dress. He holds her other hand, keeping his touch innocent and cordial, but to me, it’s like someone is stabbing me repeatedly in the chest with a knife.
It fucking hurts to see her smile at him. I don’t want him touching her. No one can touch her. She belongs—
Fuck! Fuck it all! I don’t care if I’m sick. I don’t care if Melody hates me for what I’ll do in the next two years. I don’t care anymore. I can’t let her go without her knowing how much she consumes my every thought. How everything I’ve done has been for her and her alone.
My type of love isn’t normal—it’s twisted and fractured with jagged edges and parts that are tainted beyond repair. It’s obsession and possession, owning the person who belongs to me without question.
If I’m going to hell, I want to drag her down with me.
I’m moving before I can think, stepping across the marble floors as my boots click. With every footfall, I can only seeher.