Concern was evident in Emilia’s eyes as she looked at him. “Are you well, my lord?” she asked as she stopped and turned to face him.
“No,” he managed to respond in a shaky voice.
Emilia took a step closer, her voice soothing. “Focus on my voice and take deep breaths,” she encouraged. “It will be all right. Trust me.”
Slowly, his breathing returned to normal, and he felt much better, drawing comfort from Emilia’s presence. “Thank you,” he said.
“My mother used to get similar episodes,” Emilia shared. “I learned at a young age how to soothe her.”
“I haven’t had one of those episodes since I found Timmy…” His voice came to an abrupt stop as the name slipped out.
“Who is Timmy?” Roswell asked.
In response, Fredrick’s tone was unwavering, “No one I care to discuss.”
Roswell seemed like he wanted to press the issue, but thankfully he dropped it. Instead, he suggested, “We should return home before it gets too late.”
“That is a wise idea,” Anette agreed.
“Fredrick?” Roswell questioned.
He nodded. “Yes, we do not wish to keep the ladies out too late,” he said.
Emilia’s eyes betrayed her worry. “Are you sure you are all right?” she asked. “We can stay longer.”
“Do not fuss over me,” Fredrick said, his words coming out harsher than he had intended.
A look of hurt flashed on her delicate features. “As you wish,” she said, turning away from him.
Closing his eyes, Fredrick felt like a complete fool. He had been unkind to someone who had only tried to help. How could he have done such a thing?
But he knew why. He was broken, and he knew that nothing and no one could ever put him back together. Although he was deeply touched by Emilia’s concern, he couldn’t let her get any closer to the chaos that raged within him.
It was best for him to be alone. That way, he believed he couldn’t cause harm to anyone else.
Roswell approached him and in a hushed voice chided, “That was poorly done on your part.”
“I know,” Fredrick said. He understood he couldn’t defend his actions. He was in the wrong, but that did not change his resolve.
His brother sighed. “Come on, then. We should hurry if we want to catch up to the ladies.”
Fredrick trailed behind his brother, knowing that a life without Emilia in it would be miserable for him. But what choice did he have?
Chapter Fourteen
Emilia sat in bed, a book in her hands, though her thoughts were far from the pages in front of her. Her thoughts kept straying towards Fredrick and the events at the Royal Menagerie. She desired nothing more than to understand him better, to gain his trust and to help him.
The intensity of her emotions burned within her, and she couldn’t help but feel as if he needed her assistance, even if he might never hold her in high regard. He was her friend, and that meant something to her, especially since she didn’t have many of those in her life.
But how could she help him? That answer kept eluding her. She knew nothing about war and the devastating toll it took on its soldiers.
The door opened and Lily stepped into the room with a cheerful greeting. “Good morning! I see that you are finally awake.”
“I have been awake for some time,” Emilia responded.
Lily went to the wardrobe and retrieved a pale yellow gown. “I received word that some of your new gowns will be arriving in two days’ time, including your ballgown.”
“That is wonderful news,” Emilia said.