The sound of Freddy wailing in the gardens drifted into the bedchamber and she glanced out the window. “Freddy is not having any luck with the females today,” she revealed. “He has been rattling his feathers all morning.”
“I never thought I would hear you sympathize with Freddy, considering he chases you whenever you step foot into the gardens.”
Octavia eyed him curiously. “Do you ever feel that despite your best efforts you are still overlooked?”
Her words seemed to have a somber effect on Lord Kendal. “Every day,” he admitted. “My father was progressive and fought for his position in the House of Lords. But I feellike all my efforts aren’t enough. No one gives me any heed and I am striving hard for my one bill to make it to the floor.”
“That must be frustrating. I’m sorry.”
“I just need to keep my head down and work hard, hoping one day that I can make a difference in people’s lives.”
Octavia placed a hand on his sleeve. “You have made a difference in my mother’s life by being here. Do not discount what you have done.”
Lord Kendal glanced down at her hand, and she quickly removed it. How brazen of her to touch him in such a familiar fashion.
“I just feel as if I am chasing after my father’s legacy and I am failing,” Lord Kendal admitted. “I am always failing at something.”
Octavia could hear the anguish in Lord Kendal’s voice and she knew he felt his words deeply. She didn’t want him to feel as if she minimized his concerns, but rather that he was heard, and understood.
“Cast your father’s legacy aside and focus on your own,” she encouraged. “Everyone has their own path, and no one’s is the same.”
“You make it sound so simple,” Lord Kendal said. “But my father did great things and I can’t sit back and hang on his coattails.”
“Then don’t. But don’t judge your success by your father’s accomplishments. That isn’t fair to you.”
Lord Kendal shifted his gaze towards her mother. “I wish I could turn off the thoughts in my head that tell me I am going to fail. They are relentless.”
“I have similar thoughts,” Octavia admitted. “I worry that I will let my family down and that I will be a drain on their finances for the remainder of my days.”
“How do you cope with those?”
Octavia shifted in her seat to face him. “I challenge the thoughts and realign my understanding of what failure trulyis,” she said. “If I let my family down, they will still love me. I just need to do the best that I can and hope it is enough.”
Lord Kendal considered her words before saying, “I don’t know how you do it.”
“Do what?” she asked.
“Your words always seem to resonate with me, deeper than anyone else’s, and I find myself wanting to be a better man because of you,” he replied.
Octavia’s lips twitched. “I am glad that someone is finally listening to me. It is exhausting being right all the time.”
With mirth in his eyes, Harred said, “What a terrible burden you carry around with you.”
“It is,” Octavia teased. “Dare I ask how your brother is faring?”
That was apparently the wrong thing to say because Lord Kendal let out a groan. “William decided to go get himself married.”
“Married?” Octavia repeated in surprise. “To whom?”
“Sir Percy Hall’s daughter, Ruth,” he replied. “William married her only for her dowry and abandoned her at the townhouse while he went to White’s.”
“Poor Lady William,” Octavia murmured.
Lord Kendal leaned forward in his seat. “I’m afraid I can’t do anything to help William. He has made his bed and now he must lie in it.”
Octavia could see the frustration in Lord Kendal’s expression and she hoped that he wouldn’t be offended by her next words. “Let him fail,” she replied.
“But I promised my father that I would see after William.”