“I mean she won’t understand why we’re having a baby together.”
Together. The word stings. “What do you want me to do, Matt?” My voice sharpens.
“I don’t know. I never wanted this.”
There it is. The truth. It knocks the air out of me.
Anger surges, hot and electric. “You never wanted this?” My voice rises. “That’s strange, because my entire plan while dating you was to trap you with a baby, right? Despite knowing we had no real future?” I’m shouting now, all the months of silence breaking loose.
“Liz, calm down.” Matt’s condescending tone makes me want to drive across town and run him over.
“I will not calm down. I haven’t asked you for a damn thing. I’ve done the doctor visits, paid the bills, read every book. I’ve done it all alone. Now you have the nerve to complain? Now you suddenly want me to make this easier for you?”
From the corner of my eye, I catch Ben’s face on the laptop screen. He’s leaning forward, jaw tight, eyes fixed on me. Steady. Listening.
“I don’t know, Liz.” Matt sighs. “I shouldn’t have called.”
“Damn right.” I nearly hang up, but anger anchors me. “Here’s the truth: I can’t make this easier for you. I’m not even going to try.”
He’s quiet for a moment. Then: “If you can do it without me, maybe you should. My lawyer says I can forfeit parental rights and not be on the certificate if you agree.”
That takes all of my anger. “What?” It comes out on an exhale.
“You obviously don’t need me. I sign, it’s final, and you’re free to raise it alone. Think about it, Liz. Do you really want to consult me for the rest of its life?”
The word it lands like a knife.
I picture Ben’s face lighting up just hearing Emma’s name. The morning I caught him rubbing my belly, whispering to her. His whole body alive with joy.
And now Matt, reducing her to it.
“You’d walk away from her future?”
“I’d be leaving it in capable hands,” he says.
“Yes. You would.” My tone is ice. “Matt, do whatever you need to do. But from now on, if you need anything, call my lawyer. Don’t ever call me again.”
I end the call.
Ben is still watching me, concern written all over his face. I shrug, drained. The anger’s gone. All that’s left is a hollow sadness—not for me, but for the father Emma will never have.
Chapter 73
Ben, June 14
How could one man make a decision like that? Okay, I get that I’m not exactly the bloke to lecture anyone on measured choices. Still, Matt is walking away from a future with this baby. It makes my blood run cold to think about it. “How long before he realizes his mistake?”
“What if he never realizes?” I actually don’t notice I asked the question aloud until Liz answers me. A tear tracks unchecked down her cheek. Luckily I hadn’t hung up while she took the call from Matt. It meant that when she finished, there was very little left for her to explain. I got the gist, but it’s hard to hate the guy when he’s doing the same cowardly thing I once tried to do.
The difference is brutal. I cut a woman loose I knew I loved because I thought it was best for her life. Matt is cutting loose an infant he’s never met. If I don’t stand up for that, I’d be a hypocrite.
“Babe, look at me.” She complies. “Remember when I tried to push you away because I thought it was best? I was miserable without you—completely miserable. We fixed that. I can say from experience he’ll face the reality of this sooner or later.”
“But he’s not you.”
“True. But when he realizes there is a child growing up without him… ” I trail off. My mind conjures all the worst scenarios: a bitter fight, legal papers, a menacing knock on our door years from now. Could he demand custody? Show up at our flat and try to drag Emma back to the States? The thought makes my fists clench.
“He called her an ‘it.’”